Well, Sherry and Ken have done a radical thing by trying to not use their cars as much as possible. I have done a radical thing by shutting off the cable in my house (not for philosophical reasons, but for financial reasons). But you know, I like what is occurring in my home as a result. First of all, the boys and I play more games which involves interaction. But also there has been an increase in creativity from the boys (not me unfortunately because I seem to have too many duties). I gave each of the boys some money for Ayyam-i-Ha this year instead of gifts which are so hard to buy for them anymore, as they like things I don't know how to buy.
And today Chase used his money to buy a very nice ukelele. He is currently sitting at the computer going through a lesson. He is making blisters on his fingers. There is no TV at Lee's house anymore either for the same reason($$), and the boys have written a rap song that is really cool except not suitable for all audiences.
On another note, I was reading some "notes" on Facebook from three people who happen to be married and I had an aha moment. First of all, I often daydream about having a companion. A lover. A friend that I get to be with every day like most of the people I know. And I have thought to myself that if I had this fantasy companion I would definitely not be on facebook as much or maybe even blogging as much (not that I do it that often), and I would be spending my time talking to them, cuddling with them, listening to them, cooking with them, discussing ideas with them, holding their hand......
Which brings me to my aha moment. There was a question in the "Franology, Maryology, Bethology" note that asks "Have you held someone's hand today? And I noticed that not one of these married people had held the hand of their significant other that day. Of course, that could be that it was early in the day, but I realized that my fantasy is just that, a fantasy. If I remember when I am lonely that other people rarely have the relationships I imagine in my head, then it might be easier to accept my singleness. Having a companion does not guarantee that I will not be lonely (just remembering my own previous marriage helps with that), nor does it guarantee I will be happy all the time or making love whenever I want or that life would be easier. There are no guarantees in anything.
Now that I am not in a relationship I often think that people who are take it for granted, just like I did when I was in one. I sure hope that one thing I might have learned these last few years is not to take anything for granted. To notice what I have rather than what I do not, to appreciate what I have whatever it is and however meager it may seem at the time.
For now, I think I will appreciate that I have running water in my home and wash a few dishes and drink some with an ibuprofen for my headache.
4 comments:
Whoa, Lynn....this is packed with some stuff I could reply to that would involve more than a "comment". But for now, kudos to you for turning off your cable even if it was for reason of $$. It does make such a difference.
We didn't have TV for a few years but then about 6 months ago got it again, kind of against my better judgement. It's a love/hate thing with me. It's not always on but it still gets in the way of things at times. It seems I have to be the one to remind people to turn it off including myself!
Hey...I like your insight. Things are rarely what they seem to be to others. I am glad to hear that you are enjoying quality time with the boys. That is priceless.
I gotta tell you, that it was early in the day, regarding the hand holding.... We almost always hold hands at different times during the night and often when we are sitting side by side in our recliners ...uh, watching TV. I feel guilty for watching so much TV but we never get to go to movies and in addition to playing games with each other (which we do every day, especially Qwirkle) yes, we get in a bit of TV. I prefer comedies and chick flicks and select game shows, he endures all of these but prefers the History Channel and NASCAR races. We both watch the news as we feel a need to stay in touch with what is going on in the world even though it is not always good news.
That's such a coincidence that Chase bought a uke. I've been shopping for one too. I just told the family about a week ago that I wanted to buy one. I've been working on a song that has a certain chord that just reminds me of a ukelele-type chord, and it's further made me wish I had one. They're awesome.
Blisters? Does he not play guitar? (I know he plays sax, but I just assumed all your boys played guitar as well.) His fingertips will callous nicely and then he'll be set.
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