My Oprah Stint

A few weeks ago I came home from a meeting one evening (I think it was our Bahai Holy Day observance of the Birth of Baha'u'llah) and saw a huge van with what appeared to be a satellite dish on top of it parked sideways over about 4 parking spaces in our parking lot here at the condo. I briefly wondered what it was doing there, but quickly let it go as just somebody needing to park it there while traveling somewhere else (Ha!). The next morning I was doing email in my PJ's and realized I had not taken Hershey out to pee yet, so I threw my coat over my PJs and traipsed outside with her. What I saw when I got to the entrance of the breezeway shocked me and excited me. There were several satellite vans now and a few trucks and people and cables running all over the place. I walked Hershey across the lot anyway, despite how I was dressed and how I looked with my hair unwashed and unbrushed, where she promptly peed on one of the cables stretched out in the grass. I retrieved from my car a book I had been reading called "The Courage to Be Yourself" which I was now being in front of so many strangers.



A man walked by as I was re-entering my breezeway and I asked him quickly if he knew what was going on. He said they were taping a piece for the Oprah show. We chatted briefly about it and he told me that this sort of production cost about $80,000 to do. I don't know if that included the makeover part of things or just the production crew part of things. Yes, I said makeover. Oprah was doing a room makeover for a family in the next building over. How exciting! I don't remember if the man I talked to told me it was a makeover; I think I found that out by watching later. He said it was live and I said Oprah didn't come on here till 4pm (it was about 9 a.m.ish at the time as I recall) I told him I wouldn't be watching it as on that very day, Nov 12, the cable had been turned off as I did not feel I could afford the $22 dollars a month it cost. I was sort of embarrassed, though, when he said to me, "You are better off with that anyway," as he nodded towards the book I clasped. I didn't know if he saw the title of it or if he just meant I was better off reading instead of watching TV.

Anyway, I came back in and quickly jotted an email to a few people I know who like Oprah and one who doesn't (don't ask me why) and took a quick shower, put on some mascara (I've been wearing a little makeup several times a week these days) and a cute outfit and headed out to observe the goings on. I was nervous at first about getting too close. I walked up the hill and took some video with my phone of some of the stuff going on in case I had to prove I was really here when I told people about it later. I watched people moving furniture out of one of the units and placing it on the lawn. I observed someone saying something about making an outdoor living room for the family to sit in while their room was being made over. At this point I still didn't know exactly what was going on.

Eventually I worked my nerve up to get a closer look. I mean, it was my neighbors, what's the big deal other than that I don't really know them. I went down and began questioning the couple. The woman proceeded to tell me she had written an essay to the Oprah show and they had been selected to receive a 60 minute room makeover. This is the kind of stuff I used to watch often when I had extended cable and more time.




Anyway, I wound up trying to keep the baby from riding off the sidewalk as the couple had to stay ready on the couch for when the producer (or whoever she was) said to them that Oprah was there to talk to them. It was funny listening to her keep telling them to be upbeat and bright and energetic at the same time they were having to wait with plastered smiles on their faces and keeping the dog in the picture or the baby out of trouble, etc so they could be ready when the show came back on from a commercial. So, the show was being taped live (in live time) even though it would be aired later if that makes sense. It seems like too much detail to explain here especially since I need to be cooking my Thanksgiving food before going to work in a little while.

Turns out the guy I had talked to was one of the cameramen. I spent too much time here, wasting my morning in a way. Oh, and I had called Beth somewhere in here and told her about it in case she wanted to see all the fun. She was planning on coming over anyway, but she came sooner. I got to see the Lowes crew do their "rushing in" thing that is common to these makeover projects sometimes. And I got to see Thom Filicia shout out their door that supper was ready (as a signal when the room was ready for them to see). After all the commotion died down I also got to go inside and see the finished room. (Thom was sitting on the couch. He's so cute) It was pretty, but impersonal of course and made me glad they had not done my room and taken away my children's artwork and family photos, etc.

It had been fun watching them do all of that painting and hanging curtains and moving furniture and everything in such a short time. And it turns out I was on the show briefly. My sister-in-law noticed me and Tag blogged about it and now here I am blogging about it.

The guy in the white jacket is the one I chatted with earlier.

The Lowe's truck had most of the new furniture in it. The other truck was full of production equipment I think.

Here is a link that talks about the episode. I would like to see the episode. Maybe someone who has taped it can save it for me since I think I am on it somewhere.
http://www.oprah.com/slideshow/oprahshow/20081112_tows_thom

Am I dying?

Well, let's see. I hope that part of me is. Do you remember when I wrote this:

"Maybe I am supposed to get the message that I am supposed to die. I don't mean my body, though I have felt sad enough recently to wish it so. I posted those thoughts briefly on my old blog. Took them off right away. I mean literally a minute didn't elapse before I removed it. Didn't really want anyone to worry about me.

No, I think my "self" needs to die. My insistent self. My ego, in other words. Did you know that is one of the hardest things to kill? One of the hardest things to let go of? One of the hardest things to surrender? I wonder if I can do it? I feel like I have been trying for years. Have not had success yet. How long will it take? It is not going without a fight. I believe I will not have true peace until I do. Until I release myself from self.

Is writing about myself, self-centered? Should I stop writing? Stop blogging? How do I stop thinking about myself yet take care of myself? These are all rhetorical questions. I am not asking for answers from anyone, though comments are welcome. Just don't feel like you have to respond just because I am asking questions. They are things I ponder. Maybe you do, too.

If I think about it, I am actually sick and tired of my self. It is depressing. Self consumes too much of my time and energy. Unproductive use of time and energy. Gonna keep trying to replace it with thoughtfulness of others.

Well, wish me luck!"

Guess what! I was on the right track with those thoughts except for the fact that they were thoughts. I was right that my ego had to die. I didn't know how to "kill it". But recently I figured out the secret. To be free of the ego just takes being aware of when ego is in control. Realizing or recognizing that I am not my thoughts.
Eckhart Tolle, author of "A New Earth" says in a skype class with 700,000 people across the planet including Oprah:
reach a place within yourself that is unconditioned, the formless consciousness
there is a passage that says, "Be Still and know that I am God" it is from the Old Testament and contains the entire wisdom of religion

be still = go to that place where the mind is no longer operating, where you are just conscious w/o thinking; and that is the level where the eternal resides. The eternal, the formless, the spirit, is the essence of every human being, no matter how insane or conflict ridden they may seem to appear on the surface, within every human being that remains untouched, there is nothing that anyone could have done to you or nothing that you could have done to others to destroy that, and that is the grace of being here and no matter how much madness there has been in your life that (your essence) remains untouched, so it's getting in touch with that deepest place within and you can only do that by becoming still.

He said something else that speaks to me...Oprah asked him if he didn't come up with the idea of the ego and consciousness stuff that he talks about when he was about to take his own life and he said yes, and that that is what it takes for some people before they are able to awaken. He said his ego was so obstinate and he was in so much pain (this is where I was) that he got to a place where he said to himself that he could not live with himself and it occurred to him that if there was an "I" and a "myself" that there had to be two of him. So the "I" is his essence and the "myself" is his ego.

Wow this is fascinating! If you want to see the talk even without having read the book go to Oprah.com and look for bookclubs and click on A New Earth and then you'll see what to do next.

This is such good stuff. I feel so much more at peace than with any other self-help book I have ever read. Great read in my opinion. Perfect for me anyway. Maybe you, too.

And I would write more except my form needs rest. Later!

Election Thoughts

It is only a little after 7:30 am and though I have the opportunity to sleep late, I am awake and feeling compelled to write about what happened about 10 pm or so in the eastern United States. An African-American became the President elect for the first time in the history of our country. A monumental, historical happening. And I watched and listened to John McCain give a moving concession speech. It actually made me cry. And then the journalists who commented on his speech said that the John McCain that they knew to be a public servant was the one who spoke last night and they don't know where that John McCAin has been these last few weeks (or months) of the election campaign. They said they believed if America had seen THAT John McCAin the election might have turned out differently. I can see why they would say that. I have a different view of him as a result of that speech that supposedly reflected the "true" John McCain.

Obama, in his acceptance speech, thanked heartily his campaign manager and some people he called strategists (or something like that), which made me realize that the election process really is a strategical "game" if you will. Yes the candidates have their ideas and opinions about how to lead the country or what needs fixing or whatever, and they each have their own personalities and character, but it really comes down to who played the game the best and Obama played a better game. That and I personally believe him to be an outstanding person who is very well equipped to lead our country in a positive direction. McCain said the failure to win was his own. I believe that the only reason he could take the blame for "failure" might be that he chose a campaign manager who advised him poorly. One that had him not be himself (note to self). That and choosing the running mate he did who was so divisive in my opinion by her name calling and such.

Now, I definitely have a higher opinion of John McCain now than I ever have before. The way he spoke about supporting his new president and hoping the other members of the republican party would do the same. It was very unifying. He seemed genuinely upset when his supporters booed at some things he said. The journalists commented about that as well, saying they thought it was unbecoming or poor sportsmanship (paraphrased).

I definitely feel a sense of hope regarding our country. With the historical results of this election our country has no other choice but to experience major change. And I am glad to be a part of it.

And as I said repeatedly last night "I so essited!" (I'm so excited) Woohoo!