Did I ever tell you about the time I went to the store and spent $41.55? No? You ask me how I remember that it was $41.55. Well, I was at a store where if you spend $50 or more you get a 5% discount. And I didn't spend $50 so I didn't get the discount. For some reason that number lodged itself in my brain. I went home and determined that I needed to go back for some more things. I went back within 15 minutes and bought different things of course, but the total came up to $41.55 again! I exclaimed to the clerk that that was so freaky and I pulled out my receipt from the previous visit and showed it to her and said "If that doesn't deserve a 5% discount I don't know what does!" She gave it to me (I also mentioned to her that the total of the two combined shopping trips WAS more than $50 so she was very agreeable).
Then the very next day I stepped on the scales at the place I work and they read 154.5 (or was it 155.4?) anyway, it was the same numbers from the receipts the day before, just in a different order. (OK, this could be the new car thing I mentioned in the comments on Tag's blog.)
Here's another weird thing. Lee and I each bought houses. Both street addresses start with 71 and end with circle.
Then there was the time I was in the video store with Chase choosing a movie and my friend from Charlotte called me up for some reason and when she heard I was in the video store she recommended a movie to watch that she had just recently watched and I had that very movie in my hand at that moment. That really freaked me out! I mean, the timing of her call. If she had called a few minutes earlier or later I would not have had that movie in my hands. FREAKY!
Oh, oh, oh, here's a good one. The Bahai Community purchased a building to be their Center back in 1990 I think. After they did, they found out that the Baha'i Community in the 60's had rented a room in that building for their Center.
Well, I can't think of any more right now and I have a very bad headache (a migraine maybe?) . I never call my headaches migraines, but sometimes I do have light sensitivity and nausea (like right now) so maybe sometimes mine are migraines. I just call it a headache or a really bad headache. They each hurt my head. I can't do this computer stuff any more till my headache subsides.
Later...
Tuesday, 8 December 2009
Wednesday, 18 November 2009
aaaaaghhhhhh!
I'm feeling like writing a blog, but can't think of anything to write about. Not a thing.
OH, the boys and I made an awesome dinner last night. We made a mexican casserole and guacamole and pico de gallo (what is that anyway?). The ingredients cost a lot of money, so I'm glad we had enough for two nights. That made it more reasonable. Cooking is more fun when you do it with someone. I'm glad my kitchen is roomy enough for that.
Chase is laughing so hard in the other room. I have to see what he's laughing at.
Oh, it's a video of a guy trying to sing 5 octaves. I'll see if I can post it.
OH, the boys and I made an awesome dinner last night. We made a mexican casserole and guacamole and pico de gallo (what is that anyway?). The ingredients cost a lot of money, so I'm glad we had enough for two nights. That made it more reasonable. Cooking is more fun when you do it with someone. I'm glad my kitchen is roomy enough for that.
Chase is laughing so hard in the other room. I have to see what he's laughing at.
Oh, it's a video of a guy trying to sing 5 octaves. I'll see if I can post it.
Thursday, 24 September 2009
Tuesday, 22 September 2009
I wish
I wish I had never ever said an unkind thing about another person.
Don't you?
Don't you wish you were perfect?
I wish I was.
I wish I always did the "right" thing. The "good" thing.
I wish I never got angry.
I wish I was always patient.
I wish I never got hurt.
I wish I knew when to give advice and when not to.
I wish I knew when to be quiet and when to speak up.
I wish I was perfect except for one thing. I might not be able to sympathize with people who aren't perfect.
I wish not only that I might not look at the faults of another, I wish I couldn't even see them in the first place.
That would be wonderful.
But I am an imperfect person and I must deal with it.
So must you.
Forgive me for my imperfections.
I'm trying the best I know how.
Don't you?
Don't you wish you were perfect?
I wish I was.
I wish I always did the "right" thing. The "good" thing.
I wish I never got angry.
I wish I was always patient.
I wish I never got hurt.
I wish I knew when to give advice and when not to.
I wish I knew when to be quiet and when to speak up.
I wish I was perfect except for one thing. I might not be able to sympathize with people who aren't perfect.
I wish not only that I might not look at the faults of another, I wish I couldn't even see them in the first place.
That would be wonderful.
But I am an imperfect person and I must deal with it.
So must you.
Forgive me for my imperfections.
I'm trying the best I know how.
Sunday, 20 September 2009
Loss
I feel like I have lost a son.
It hurts like nobody's business.
I cannot discuss it.
I must go on with my life.
Now, how to normalize when life is not normal......
I believe I will not be tested beyond my capacity to endure, so I have faith that I can get through this. I just don't know what that will look like right now.
Prayers are much appreciated. Questions at this point are unquestionable.
It hurts like nobody's business.
I cannot discuss it.
I must go on with my life.
Now, how to normalize when life is not normal......
I believe I will not be tested beyond my capacity to endure, so I have faith that I can get through this. I just don't know what that will look like right now.
Prayers are much appreciated. Questions at this point are unquestionable.
Thursday, 17 September 2009
A Bee says....
Today while I was taking Hershey for a walk a bee came a buzzing out of nowhere. It buzzed around my head, my arm, the poop bag, the mail, my head again. It made me nervous. I made sure not to aggravate it even though it was aggravating me (ah is that a lesson?). I thought to myself, that since that was so out of the blue and so unusual that it must be trying to tell me something.
Later I told my friend about it and she said, "Did you ask it what it was wanting to say to you?" and I said no I didn't ask, but I wondered. Then I remembered that I had to get very still while it was buzzing around me so that I didn't scare it and cause it to sting me and and the song "Be Still and know that I am God" came into my memory.
She said she had three praying mantises come by her place and she looked them up on the internet to find that they signify one is on a spiritual path or something. I had a praying mantis come to my door last week I think. I need to google bees and what they might signify.
But for now, I am thinking that I need to be still and know that God is within. I have an old entry with the words to that song. "Listen to your inner voice..."
Ok, so I googled "bees signify" and this is what I found (I think these are all dream related though):
Activity. Productivity. Social life. Happiness in life. Success in love. Good earnings.
Bees
A person that is hard working, has good organization skills, is cooperative and creative. The negative symbolism could be that of a follower, a busy body and of someone that "stings". If you are working on a project in which many people need to work together to accomplish a goal, this may be a topic for some of your dreams.
Bees, working: The person is being informed not to waste time in any important aspect of life, work on this aspect is a must.
Maybe Sherry has some suggestions?
I didn't dream about them. One just showed up and got my attention for a few moments.
My vote is either for happiness in life or Success in love! :) OR BOTH!
Oh, I just saw these, too...
bee, bees
Interpretation:
Being obsessed with something, having a bee in your bonnet
Being industrious, productive, or hard working, a busy bee
Feeling vulnerable, stung or hurt
Needing to get into a state of relaxing, letting go, just being ...
Something to ponder....
I'm SUCH a ponderer! Hey, is that related to being obsessed? Maybe.
Later I told my friend about it and she said, "Did you ask it what it was wanting to say to you?" and I said no I didn't ask, but I wondered. Then I remembered that I had to get very still while it was buzzing around me so that I didn't scare it and cause it to sting me and and the song "Be Still and know that I am God" came into my memory.
She said she had three praying mantises come by her place and she looked them up on the internet to find that they signify one is on a spiritual path or something. I had a praying mantis come to my door last week I think. I need to google bees and what they might signify.
But for now, I am thinking that I need to be still and know that God is within. I have an old entry with the words to that song. "Listen to your inner voice..."
Ok, so I googled "bees signify" and this is what I found (I think these are all dream related though):
Bees
- Bees signify pleasant and profitable engagements.(I did get to work and they asked if I could work tomorrow too, and then tonight someone asked if I could clean her house for pay...)
- To parents, much pleasure from dutiful children. If one stings, loss or injury will bear upon you from a friendly source.
Activity. Productivity. Social life. Happiness in life. Success in love. Good earnings.
Bees
A person that is hard working, has good organization skills, is cooperative and creative. The negative symbolism could be that of a follower, a busy body and of someone that "stings". If you are working on a project in which many people need to work together to accomplish a goal, this may be a topic for some of your dreams.
Bees, working: The person is being informed not to waste time in any important aspect of life, work on this aspect is a must.
Maybe Sherry has some suggestions?
I didn't dream about them. One just showed up and got my attention for a few moments.
My vote is either for happiness in life or Success in love! :) OR BOTH!
Oh, I just saw these, too...
bee, bees
Interpretation:
Being obsessed with something, having a bee in your bonnet
Being industrious, productive, or hard working, a busy bee
Feeling vulnerable, stung or hurt
Needing to get into a state of relaxing, letting go, just being ...
Something to ponder....
I'm SUCH a ponderer! Hey, is that related to being obsessed? Maybe.
Marriage
BAHÁ'Í MARRIAGE
As to the question of marriage, according to the law of God: First you must select one, and then it depends on the consent of the father and mother. Before your selection they have no right of interference.
Bahá'í marriage is union and cordial affection between the two parties. They must, however, exercise the utmost care and become acquainted with each other's character. This eternal bond should be made secure by a firm covenant, and the intention should be to foster harmony, fellowship and unity and to attain everlasting life...
In a true Bahá'í marriage the two parties must become fully united both spiritually and physically, so that they may attain eternal union throughout all the worlds of God, and improve the spiritual life of each other. This is Bahá'í matrimony.
Among the majority of the people marriage consists of physical relationship and this union and relationship is temporary for at the end physical separation is destined and ordained. But the marriage of the people of Baha must consist of both physical and spiritual relationship for both of them are intoxicated with the wine of one cup, are attracted by one Peerless Countenance, are quickened with one Life and are illumined with one Light. This is the spiritual relationship and everlasting union. Likewise in the physical world they are bound together with strong and unbreakable ties.
When relationship, union and concord exist between the two from a physical and spiritual standpoint, that is the real union, therefore everlasting. But if the union is merely from the physical point of view, unquestionably it is temporal and at the end separation is inevitable.
Consequently when the people of Baha desire to enter the sacred union of marriage, eternal connection and ideal relationship, spiritual and physical association of thoughts and conceptions of life must exist between them, so that in all the grades of existence and all the worlds of God this union may continue forever and ever for this real union is a splendor of the light of the love of God.
Likewise if the souls become real believers they will find themselves ushered into this exalted state of relationship, becoming the manifestors of the love of the Merciful and exhilarated with the cup of the love of God. Undoubtedly that union and relationship is eternal.
The souls who sacrifice self, become detached from the imperfections of the realm of man and free from the shackles of this ephemeral world, assuredly the splendors of the rays of divine union shall shine in their hearts and in the eternal paradise they shall find ideal relationship, union and happiness.
(Abdu'l-Baha, Baha'i World Faith - Abdu'l-Baha Section, p. 372)
I awoke this morning on this cool drizzly day, alone in my house except for one scratching, flea infested dog and these words came to me:
There is a man who sees my figure,
where is a man who sees God in all creatures?
There is a man who sees my sensuality,
where is a man who sees and and loves my spirituality?
There is a man who desires my body,
where is a man who desires my heart and soul?
There is a man who says sweet things to me,
where is a man who would whisper or shout prayers to his Lord?
There is a man who would lie next to me,
where is a man who will serve next to me?
There is a man who would caress me tenderly,
where is a man who would caress the hearts of God's loved ones?
There is a man who strives to please me,
where is a man who strives to do the will of God?
There is a man who works hard at his job,
where is a man who works hard on himself or his relationships?
There is a man who sometimes has a rough day,
where is a man who recognizes and understands when I have had one?
There is a man who knows lust and desire,
where is a man who knows love?
As to the question of marriage, according to the law of God: First you must select one, and then it depends on the consent of the father and mother. Before your selection they have no right of interference.
Bahá'í marriage is union and cordial affection between the two parties. They must, however, exercise the utmost care and become acquainted with each other's character. This eternal bond should be made secure by a firm covenant, and the intention should be to foster harmony, fellowship and unity and to attain everlasting life...
In a true Bahá'í marriage the two parties must become fully united both spiritually and physically, so that they may attain eternal union throughout all the worlds of God, and improve the spiritual life of each other. This is Bahá'í matrimony.
Among the majority of the people marriage consists of physical relationship and this union and relationship is temporary for at the end physical separation is destined and ordained. But the marriage of the people of Baha must consist of both physical and spiritual relationship for both of them are intoxicated with the wine of one cup, are attracted by one Peerless Countenance, are quickened with one Life and are illumined with one Light. This is the spiritual relationship and everlasting union. Likewise in the physical world they are bound together with strong and unbreakable ties.
When relationship, union and concord exist between the two from a physical and spiritual standpoint, that is the real union, therefore everlasting. But if the union is merely from the physical point of view, unquestionably it is temporal and at the end separation is inevitable.
Consequently when the people of Baha desire to enter the sacred union of marriage, eternal connection and ideal relationship, spiritual and physical association of thoughts and conceptions of life must exist between them, so that in all the grades of existence and all the worlds of God this union may continue forever and ever for this real union is a splendor of the light of the love of God.
Likewise if the souls become real believers they will find themselves ushered into this exalted state of relationship, becoming the manifestors of the love of the Merciful and exhilarated with the cup of the love of God. Undoubtedly that union and relationship is eternal.
The souls who sacrifice self, become detached from the imperfections of the realm of man and free from the shackles of this ephemeral world, assuredly the splendors of the rays of divine union shall shine in their hearts and in the eternal paradise they shall find ideal relationship, union and happiness.
(Abdu'l-Baha, Baha'i World Faith - Abdu'l-Baha Section, p. 372)
I awoke this morning on this cool drizzly day, alone in my house except for one scratching, flea infested dog and these words came to me:
There is a man who sees my figure,
where is a man who sees God in all creatures?
There is a man who sees my sensuality,
where is a man who sees and and loves my spirituality?
There is a man who desires my body,
where is a man who desires my heart and soul?
There is a man who says sweet things to me,
where is a man who would whisper or shout prayers to his Lord?
There is a man who would lie next to me,
where is a man who will serve next to me?
There is a man who would caress me tenderly,
where is a man who would caress the hearts of God's loved ones?
There is a man who strives to please me,
where is a man who strives to do the will of God?
There is a man who works hard at his job,
where is a man who works hard on himself or his relationships?
There is a man who sometimes has a rough day,
where is a man who recognizes and understands when I have had one?
There is a man who knows lust and desire,
where is a man who knows love?
Monday, 14 September 2009
Grief relief
I have to report that though I am still sad about some things going on with my family, the Sam-e supplements must be doing something. That and/or the prayers that I know are being said for me.
I feel some better and am holding out hope that if I remain constantly loving, that things will turn around.
I do still feel like in a way my son has died, though the death only affects me as it is only me my son shuns and wants nothing to do with. Heartbreaking. But I carry on.
I have gone to a place called Joblink which is a one-stop resource for job searching. I can brush up on some skills, learn how to write a resume, practice interviewing, find out about work in action programs, training, job searching, networking and other things related to finding a job.
I consider myself intelligent, just lacking in confidence. Hopefully these workshops will help me in that area. I am getting a little work here and there so that I am not totally living on savings, but the savings won't last long. I am feeling the crunch.
I thought about starting a cleaning business (with mom to do the books and hiring and firing and other business things). That can be profitable I think if you know what you are doing.
But part of me does not want to do that either. I still need some clarity on what I want to do.
It would help before I go job searching or back to school. I realize I need a job where I have the freedom to move around and don't have to sit all day or stand all day. Walking is fine. This is why childcare and cleaning and yardwork work for me, though perhaps under utilizing my talents.
Speaking of walking, I am headed out to walk this morning with one of my sisters. I have yet to get a walk in with Bonnie, though we have talked about it for a while. Lunch time is not always a good time for me, though now it is ok while I am not working much.
Sherry and Ken and the boys (H and C) and Chase's friend Emma came over for game night Saturday for the second time in a month. It was again very fun! I hope that one day things will get back to a space where Evan and Jennifer can join us again. That night several months ago when we played guestures was great fun also.
Well, I better get dressed for walking.
thanks for reading......
I feel some better and am holding out hope that if I remain constantly loving, that things will turn around.
I do still feel like in a way my son has died, though the death only affects me as it is only me my son shuns and wants nothing to do with. Heartbreaking. But I carry on.
I have gone to a place called Joblink which is a one-stop resource for job searching. I can brush up on some skills, learn how to write a resume, practice interviewing, find out about work in action programs, training, job searching, networking and other things related to finding a job.
I consider myself intelligent, just lacking in confidence. Hopefully these workshops will help me in that area. I am getting a little work here and there so that I am not totally living on savings, but the savings won't last long. I am feeling the crunch.
I thought about starting a cleaning business (with mom to do the books and hiring and firing and other business things). That can be profitable I think if you know what you are doing.
But part of me does not want to do that either. I still need some clarity on what I want to do.
It would help before I go job searching or back to school. I realize I need a job where I have the freedom to move around and don't have to sit all day or stand all day. Walking is fine. This is why childcare and cleaning and yardwork work for me, though perhaps under utilizing my talents.
Speaking of walking, I am headed out to walk this morning with one of my sisters. I have yet to get a walk in with Bonnie, though we have talked about it for a while. Lunch time is not always a good time for me, though now it is ok while I am not working much.
Sherry and Ken and the boys (H and C) and Chase's friend Emma came over for game night Saturday for the second time in a month. It was again very fun! I hope that one day things will get back to a space where Evan and Jennifer can join us again. That night several months ago when we played guestures was great fun also.
Well, I better get dressed for walking.
thanks for reading......
Friday, 28 August 2009
Friends
Today I was missing a couple of folks. One, a person who used to be a close friend, but can't be anymore for health reasons. I miss him. He was a good listener. Those are hard to come by. Well, I have a couple of other friends who are good listeners, but they didn't come to mind today. I managed to get through my personal crisis without pestering anyone (except maybe Hunter just a little).
I will check out CODA soon. If you know what that is fine and if you don't, that is ok, too, but I'm not going to talk about it with people who don't know what it is.
I am looking forward to Goombay! Looking forward to hanging with the folks I plan to meet there.
Woo hoo!
I will check out CODA soon. If you know what that is fine and if you don't, that is ok, too, but I'm not going to talk about it with people who don't know what it is.
I am looking forward to Goombay! Looking forward to hanging with the folks I plan to meet there.
Woo hoo!
Thursday, 13 August 2009
"Love is and will always be the best insurance against the despair for which street drugs are the obvious antidote." from: A General Theory of Love.
"When you love," wrote Ernest Hemingway, "you wish to do things for. You wish to sacrifice for. You wish to serve." from: A General Theory of Love. Mother Theresa comes to my mind here.
"For many years, the medical community hasn't believed that anything substantive travels between doctor and patient unless it goes down a tube or through a syringe. The rest can be comfortably omitted or conveniently faked." from: a GToL . Humans are limbic creatures and need to feel attached to others to be healthy.
"Before it is safe to go back to the doctor a mammal (feeling, emotional) will have to be in charge (as opposed to a reptile which is unfeeling since it lacks a limbic part of the brain). And before that can happen, our physicians will have to recapture their belief in the substantive nature of emotional life and the determination to fight for it." from: A GToL except for the parentheses comments which are mine.The healthy future of the planet rests on the extent to which children's limbic brains develop and this can be achieved by the simple act of sleeping with your babies and forming an attachment to them and then spending lots of time with them in their formative years. This is my strong, but humble, or maybe not so humble, opinion and I'm sticking to it.
Sunday, 9 August 2009
More Journal funnies
These are from an older journal, from when Evan was about 4, Ian was 2ish and Donovan was not yet born.
April 10, 1990--Tuesday
Evan took a picture of me with his transforming letter toy and then showed it to me. I told him, "Ooh, that's not a very flattering picture of me." And he said, "Well, we can PRETEND it's flat."
June 13 Wednesday
Evan is so cute. Today while I was changing my sheets Evan asked about the bubbles. I told him the bubbles got in the bed when the water got put in and he said, "Yeah cause water has bubbles. And that must be why they call it a waterbed...cause it's got water in it." Then, before breakfast he was playing with his play-doh Fun Factory. At the table while eating his eggs he said, "That fun factory sure is fun. Is that why they call it a fun factory...because it's fun? He's so smart.
That sort of reminds me of when I was a freshman in college and it dawned on me why they call a billfold a billfold. I'm slow.
June 23 Saturday
We were walking up the street from Lisa's (Evan and I) and he said, "If you were Lisa and I was Matthew and Ian was Brendan we would live in that house down there wouldn't we?" Then he said, "Do you know why you came out as a girl when you were born? Because our family needed a mommy! Do you know why our family needed a mommy? Because Daddy couldn't be the mommy. He doesn't have breastes so he couldn't nurse the babies."
Last night when Lee was helping Evan get ready for bed Evan picked out his Ghostbuster PJs to wear. they are for winter time (long sleeves) so Lee told him he didn't want those pajamas 'cause they were too hot, so Evan got them out of the drawer and said, "Well, I'll cool 'em off" and he held them in front of the fan.
While I was gone today Evan approached Lee and said "Mommy has been gone a long time." Lee said, "yeah." Then Evan said, "I hope she comes back at 8 oclock," and Lee said, That's a long time from now, " to which Evan looked forlorn. Then Lee said, "You don't need mommy," and Evan said, "I do, too." and Lee said, "Why?" and Evan said "I just do."
October 4, Friday 1991
At supper tonight Evan (5) asked if there was such a thing as a Katydidn't. I just laughed. Then he asked (after I told him I didn't think so) why God didn't or couldn't make one. He interrupted himself actually to ask how you talk to God. I told him when we pray we are talking to God, but he didn't want to pray (say prayers from prayer book) so I said "just get by yourself and say, "God, I'd like to have a talk." He hopped up from the table, went into our room and we heard him say, "God, I'd like to have a talk," and he also asked if there was such a thing as a katydidn't. He came back to say that God said there was such a thing as a Katydidn't and then he said, "Well, He said maybe there was, but He doesn't remember."
I guess that's enough. I'm tired of typing anyway....
April 10, 1990--Tuesday
Evan took a picture of me with his transforming letter toy and then showed it to me. I told him, "Ooh, that's not a very flattering picture of me." And he said, "Well, we can PRETEND it's flat."
June 13 Wednesday
Evan is so cute. Today while I was changing my sheets Evan asked about the bubbles. I told him the bubbles got in the bed when the water got put in and he said, "Yeah cause water has bubbles. And that must be why they call it a waterbed...cause it's got water in it." Then, before breakfast he was playing with his play-doh Fun Factory. At the table while eating his eggs he said, "That fun factory sure is fun. Is that why they call it a fun factory...because it's fun? He's so smart.
That sort of reminds me of when I was a freshman in college and it dawned on me why they call a billfold a billfold. I'm slow.
June 23 Saturday
We were walking up the street from Lisa's (Evan and I) and he said, "If you were Lisa and I was Matthew and Ian was Brendan we would live in that house down there wouldn't we?" Then he said, "Do you know why you came out as a girl when you were born? Because our family needed a mommy! Do you know why our family needed a mommy? Because Daddy couldn't be the mommy. He doesn't have breastes so he couldn't nurse the babies."
Last night when Lee was helping Evan get ready for bed Evan picked out his Ghostbuster PJs to wear. they are for winter time (long sleeves) so Lee told him he didn't want those pajamas 'cause they were too hot, so Evan got them out of the drawer and said, "Well, I'll cool 'em off" and he held them in front of the fan.
While I was gone today Evan approached Lee and said "Mommy has been gone a long time." Lee said, "yeah." Then Evan said, "I hope she comes back at 8 oclock," and Lee said, That's a long time from now, " to which Evan looked forlorn. Then Lee said, "You don't need mommy," and Evan said, "I do, too." and Lee said, "Why?" and Evan said "I just do."
October 4, Friday 1991
At supper tonight Evan (5) asked if there was such a thing as a Katydidn't. I just laughed. Then he asked (after I told him I didn't think so) why God didn't or couldn't make one. He interrupted himself actually to ask how you talk to God. I told him when we pray we are talking to God, but he didn't want to pray (say prayers from prayer book) so I said "just get by yourself and say, "God, I'd like to have a talk." He hopped up from the table, went into our room and we heard him say, "God, I'd like to have a talk," and he also asked if there was such a thing as a katydidn't. He came back to say that God said there was such a thing as a Katydidn't and then he said, "Well, He said maybe there was, but He doesn't remember."
I guess that's enough. I'm tired of typing anyway....
Old Journal entries
For some reason, oh I was looking for a letter I had written years ago and saved, I started reading some of my old journals I used to keep when the kids were little. I laughed at this one and wanted to share it. Evan was 6 years old, Ian was 3 and a half and Donovan was 9 months.
Wednesday 10-7-92
It's a school day. I was sitting at the table with Evan and we were talking. Ian, who had been awake as long as Evan, came over and crawled up into my lap. Evan and I continued to talk. Then Ian pulled my face around to his and said, "Say Hey Ian" and I said "Hey Ian" and he said "or you could say something like..." and I said "How about good morning sweet boy!" and he said, "Yeah, something like that." It was funny how he wanted me to acknowledge him for the day or something.
Well, while I am sharing entries I laughed at...
September 22, 1994
I asked Ian to tell me all the badwords he knew and here they are: Shut up! Stupid, Weiner, Vagina, Hate
This is all he has caught onto so far by the age of 5 and a half.
Evan (8) knows these: F--k, Hell, S--t, Damn. Later he remembered two more: ass, asshole
As I re-read this I think to myself, how does an 8 year old know those words? We didn't use them (at least in their presence as far as I know).
Oh my gosh, this journal is cracking me up!
May 22, 1996 Wednesday
That Hunter (7) has a sense of humor that I don't see in him often. A little bit ago he asked me if I had seen his dirty rotten shoes. I said, as I was picking my nose, "No I haven't. Have you seen my dirty rotten boogars?" I then put the kleenex in his face and he didn't flinch or make a face. He only looked at me and said, "Don't tempt me." Then he non-chalantly walked away.
This journal is also very touching.
June 18, 1996 Tuesday
I want to record this touching moment that just happened. Donovan (4.5) was hitting David and Evan with his stuffed animal (pound puppy) and David grabbed it and pulled. Donovan got upset about that and I told HIM that he shouldnt' be using his toy as a weapon 'cause that would also tear it up. I sent David and Evan outside 'cause they were too wild and a few minutes later I heard Donovan crying and talking about something. He was in a fort with Joshua H. talking to his puppy. He was apologizing to his puppy for hitting people with him. It was soo sweet and moving to hear him talking to the toy as if it had feelings.
Now I have no idea what this next entry was about
1997 November 23
Grand Ideals
How
Perfection
Love
Good Intentions
With Gold we Test Our Servants
Crumbling Pillar
No Joy
Then there is the one about the time the boys and a neighor friend were capturing their farts in containers (jars, plastic Easter eggs, film canisters, empty peanut cans, etc) and then asking people to open and sniff the containers. Shoooey! Boys!
Those are from one of my journals. I shall read some more and report later!
Wednesday 10-7-92
It's a school day. I was sitting at the table with Evan and we were talking. Ian, who had been awake as long as Evan, came over and crawled up into my lap. Evan and I continued to talk. Then Ian pulled my face around to his and said, "Say Hey Ian" and I said "Hey Ian" and he said "or you could say something like..." and I said "How about good morning sweet boy!" and he said, "Yeah, something like that." It was funny how he wanted me to acknowledge him for the day or something.
Well, while I am sharing entries I laughed at...
September 22, 1994
I asked Ian to tell me all the badwords he knew and here they are: Shut up! Stupid, Weiner, Vagina, Hate
This is all he has caught onto so far by the age of 5 and a half.
Evan (8) knows these: F--k, Hell, S--t, Damn. Later he remembered two more: ass, asshole
As I re-read this I think to myself, how does an 8 year old know those words? We didn't use them (at least in their presence as far as I know).
Oh my gosh, this journal is cracking me up!
May 22, 1996 Wednesday
That Hunter (7) has a sense of humor that I don't see in him often. A little bit ago he asked me if I had seen his dirty rotten shoes. I said, as I was picking my nose, "No I haven't. Have you seen my dirty rotten boogars?" I then put the kleenex in his face and he didn't flinch or make a face. He only looked at me and said, "Don't tempt me." Then he non-chalantly walked away.
This journal is also very touching.
June 18, 1996 Tuesday
I want to record this touching moment that just happened. Donovan (4.5) was hitting David and Evan with his stuffed animal (pound puppy) and David grabbed it and pulled. Donovan got upset about that and I told HIM that he shouldnt' be using his toy as a weapon 'cause that would also tear it up. I sent David and Evan outside 'cause they were too wild and a few minutes later I heard Donovan crying and talking about something. He was in a fort with Joshua H. talking to his puppy. He was apologizing to his puppy for hitting people with him. It was soo sweet and moving to hear him talking to the toy as if it had feelings.
Now I have no idea what this next entry was about
1997 November 23
Grand Ideals
How
Perfection
Love
Good Intentions
With Gold we Test Our Servants
Crumbling Pillar
No Joy
Then there is the one about the time the boys and a neighor friend were capturing their farts in containers (jars, plastic Easter eggs, film canisters, empty peanut cans, etc) and then asking people to open and sniff the containers. Shoooey! Boys!
Those are from one of my journals. I shall read some more and report later!
When Changes Come
Think of your life this way (if you don't already) and go with the flow-----
Sometimes things happen that you have no control over. Rather than waste time trying to figure out WHY something happened--I mean you can't undo it anyway--just go with the flow.
For example, imagine you are a lily pad leaf. You are anchored to the soft, mushy bottom of the pond. You enjoy the sunlight, the tiny frogs resting on you, the beautiful flower blossom next to you. One day, a fish accidentally snips your stem and you find yourself floating away from your familiar territory. It is frightening. Suddenly you are alone in the middle of the pond. You long for the company of the other leaves and the flowers you were so attached to. You begin to miss their companionship. You might feel anger towards the fish for cutting you free from your home. The home you have known for most of your life. You might wonder if it really was an accident or if the fish had a grievance with you for some reason. You vascilate between feelings of anger at the fish or the situation you find yourself in and self-loathing if the fish had a grievance. You feel miserable. You are suffering terribly.
But one day, out of nowhere, you look around you and realize that you are still able to enjoy the warmth and light of the sun, but now you get to experience movement like you have never known it. Sometimes small currents send you near a whole new group of leaves and flowers. Sometimes they cause you to swirl in circles, dancing with the movement of the water. Occasionally, the wind might lift you into the air--Wheee!
All of these are new and exciting experiences, though a little intimidating at first. When you finally accept your new life and stop wishing it was like it used to be you begin to feel happiness and contentment take over you. You begin to feel joy!
This is going with the flow.
These are thoughts it has taken me five years to figure out if you know what I mean.
Happy flowing!
Sometimes things happen that you have no control over. Rather than waste time trying to figure out WHY something happened--I mean you can't undo it anyway--just go with the flow.
For example, imagine you are a lily pad leaf. You are anchored to the soft, mushy bottom of the pond. You enjoy the sunlight, the tiny frogs resting on you, the beautiful flower blossom next to you. One day, a fish accidentally snips your stem and you find yourself floating away from your familiar territory. It is frightening. Suddenly you are alone in the middle of the pond. You long for the company of the other leaves and the flowers you were so attached to. You begin to miss their companionship. You might feel anger towards the fish for cutting you free from your home. The home you have known for most of your life. You might wonder if it really was an accident or if the fish had a grievance with you for some reason. You vascilate between feelings of anger at the fish or the situation you find yourself in and self-loathing if the fish had a grievance. You feel miserable. You are suffering terribly.
But one day, out of nowhere, you look around you and realize that you are still able to enjoy the warmth and light of the sun, but now you get to experience movement like you have never known it. Sometimes small currents send you near a whole new group of leaves and flowers. Sometimes they cause you to swirl in circles, dancing with the movement of the water. Occasionally, the wind might lift you into the air--Wheee!
All of these are new and exciting experiences, though a little intimidating at first. When you finally accept your new life and stop wishing it was like it used to be you begin to feel happiness and contentment take over you. You begin to feel joy!
This is going with the flow.
These are thoughts it has taken me five years to figure out if you know what I mean.
Happy flowing!
Friday, 7 August 2009
Do you remember when...
I am currently reading a most fascinating book, "A General Theory of Love", by Thomas Lewis, M.D., Fari Amini, M.D., Richard Lannon, M.D.
I'm a little over halfway through and keep reading things that relate to things that are going on in my life. Right now I am at the part talking about memory. The authors say, "Although most people do not realize it, they are incapable of remembering events as they happened. In study after study they incorporate fragments from earlier or later incidents, general expectations and implications gleaned from leading questions into their memories of what they saw and heard. The resulting ragout of fact, fancy, suggestion, and innuendo feels as convincing as a more accurate memory would." The authors then go on to cite a study where people were asked to remember where they were right after the space shuttle Challenger exploded. They were asked again two and a half years later. None of the later accounts correlated entirely with the originals and fully a third of them were "wildly inaccurate." The students were cheerfully ignorant of the fabrication that passed in their minds for a memory; many insisted that the recent, wrong versions were actually right. "As far as we can tell," Neisser observed, "the original memories are just gone."
A recent example of this fabrication of memory happened to me at work the other day. Pookie went outside after a tremendous rainstorm and spotted a huge slug on the patio. She was so excited and urged me to come and look! I did and as I went back towards the door to go back inside I spotted a very large, striped centipede crawling in the corner. I shouted, "Pookie! Come look at this!" which set off an excited search for more life forms that were not usually found on the porch. Later when she was telling her mother of all the things we had found she made a point of telling her mother proudly that SHE had found the centipede in the corner.
This explains why when Bonnie or I re-tell the memory of when I threw a butcher knife at her as kids (yes, this really happened), she says it missed her by inches and I say it missed her by over a foot (which to be accurate is still inches, but nevertheless...). Her memory comes from the expectation that I was angry and wanted to hurt her and that I intended to hit her with it. My memory comes from being angry, wanting to vent and make a point, but truly not wanting to hurt her and making sure I did not throw it directly at her. Admittedly it was a risky maneuver and not one I would repeat, but it shows that our expections and physical perceptions skewed our memories. Maybe the knife did come within inches. Maybe it really missed by a foot and a half. We may never know.
Also from the book:
"Because human beings remember with neurons we are disposed to see more of what we have already seen, hear anew what we have heard most often, think just what we have always thought. Our minds are burdened by an informational inertia whose headlong coarse is not easy to slow. As a life lengthens, momentum gathers. A wistful aside from two neuroscience researchers: [In] scientific work, we find that new theories are understood only by the graduate students, whose intellectual identities are then wholly transformed....In contrast, the senior professors are burdened with such connectional inertia that when they encounter new ideas there is no apparent effect, other than an occasional vague irritation."
It explains how an innocent act of one can be percieved as malicious by another. It happened to me quite often in my marriage. It was as if my spouse expected me to act maliciously and so any action that was questionable automatically was seen as such.
These are good things to remember when we are relying on faulty mechanisms such as memories. We should probably give people the benefit of the doubt sometimes, maybe most times and assume that neither person is totally correct in what they remember.
So what do we do then when something comes up that causes people to be so strongly divided based on memories they each have of an event. First we need to recognize our biases. We love this person, we trust this person (that we may be defending) and the other person loves a different person and trusts a different person. That right there automatically skews the perceptions. We have to acknowledge this before we can get to the bottom of anything.
Don't you know this is at the root of all differences? The race "wars". The religious wars. The political wars. This is the reason consultation was brought forth as a tool to help people arrive at a truth. But it only works when people set aside their own viewpoint as correct and attempt to see a situation more objectively. Try to see how the other "side" could have seen things the way they did. Get on the other end of the elephant in other words.
I'm a little over halfway through and keep reading things that relate to things that are going on in my life. Right now I am at the part talking about memory. The authors say, "Although most people do not realize it, they are incapable of remembering events as they happened. In study after study they incorporate fragments from earlier or later incidents, general expectations and implications gleaned from leading questions into their memories of what they saw and heard. The resulting ragout of fact, fancy, suggestion, and innuendo feels as convincing as a more accurate memory would." The authors then go on to cite a study where people were asked to remember where they were right after the space shuttle Challenger exploded. They were asked again two and a half years later. None of the later accounts correlated entirely with the originals and fully a third of them were "wildly inaccurate." The students were cheerfully ignorant of the fabrication that passed in their minds for a memory; many insisted that the recent, wrong versions were actually right. "As far as we can tell," Neisser observed, "the original memories are just gone."
A recent example of this fabrication of memory happened to me at work the other day. Pookie went outside after a tremendous rainstorm and spotted a huge slug on the patio. She was so excited and urged me to come and look! I did and as I went back towards the door to go back inside I spotted a very large, striped centipede crawling in the corner. I shouted, "Pookie! Come look at this!" which set off an excited search for more life forms that were not usually found on the porch. Later when she was telling her mother of all the things we had found she made a point of telling her mother proudly that SHE had found the centipede in the corner.
This explains why when Bonnie or I re-tell the memory of when I threw a butcher knife at her as kids (yes, this really happened), she says it missed her by inches and I say it missed her by over a foot (which to be accurate is still inches, but nevertheless...). Her memory comes from the expectation that I was angry and wanted to hurt her and that I intended to hit her with it. My memory comes from being angry, wanting to vent and make a point, but truly not wanting to hurt her and making sure I did not throw it directly at her. Admittedly it was a risky maneuver and not one I would repeat, but it shows that our expections and physical perceptions skewed our memories. Maybe the knife did come within inches. Maybe it really missed by a foot and a half. We may never know.
Also from the book:
"Because human beings remember with neurons we are disposed to see more of what we have already seen, hear anew what we have heard most often, think just what we have always thought. Our minds are burdened by an informational inertia whose headlong coarse is not easy to slow. As a life lengthens, momentum gathers. A wistful aside from two neuroscience researchers: [In] scientific work, we find that new theories are understood only by the graduate students, whose intellectual identities are then wholly transformed....In contrast, the senior professors are burdened with such connectional inertia that when they encounter new ideas there is no apparent effect, other than an occasional vague irritation."
It explains how an innocent act of one can be percieved as malicious by another. It happened to me quite often in my marriage. It was as if my spouse expected me to act maliciously and so any action that was questionable automatically was seen as such.
These are good things to remember when we are relying on faulty mechanisms such as memories. We should probably give people the benefit of the doubt sometimes, maybe most times and assume that neither person is totally correct in what they remember.
So what do we do then when something comes up that causes people to be so strongly divided based on memories they each have of an event. First we need to recognize our biases. We love this person, we trust this person (that we may be defending) and the other person loves a different person and trusts a different person. That right there automatically skews the perceptions. We have to acknowledge this before we can get to the bottom of anything.
Don't you know this is at the root of all differences? The race "wars". The religious wars. The political wars. This is the reason consultation was brought forth as a tool to help people arrive at a truth. But it only works when people set aside their own viewpoint as correct and attempt to see a situation more objectively. Try to see how the other "side" could have seen things the way they did. Get on the other end of the elephant in other words.
Sunday, 2 August 2009
Peace
I once heard the phrase "Seek to understand before seeking to be understood." I have struggled with this approach all my life. I have not had it modeled for me. But it seems to be a helpful attitude towards peace. I am sure that if our government sought to understand the motives behind the actions of people or countries who are hostile towards us (the U.S.) then we would make greater strides towards peace. The same applies to our actions and attitudes with our friends and families.
It is not about who is right and who is wrong. It is about admitting where we can improve. Not telling others where they can improve. It is about listening. About hearing.
Each of us needs to ask our selves, "how can I improve my connection with this person? How can I improve the unity, the peace of this relationship? What can I do or say that would feel loving to this person before me? If you find yourself saying instead, "What about me? Don't I deserve love? Don't I deserve respect? Don't I deserve to be listened to?" then you are on the wrong path. It is that simple. No more needs to be said.
It is not about who is right and who is wrong. It is about admitting where we can improve. Not telling others where they can improve. It is about listening. About hearing.
Each of us needs to ask our selves, "how can I improve my connection with this person? How can I improve the unity, the peace of this relationship? What can I do or say that would feel loving to this person before me? If you find yourself saying instead, "What about me? Don't I deserve love? Don't I deserve respect? Don't I deserve to be listened to?" then you are on the wrong path. It is that simple. No more needs to be said.
Sunday, 19 July 2009
Forgive me friends for I have failed. It has been over a month since my last blog entry....
Go ahead Lynn.
Well, first let me say that I haven't had much to tell that is bloggable. Or if I think of something I don't have the time at that moment and then I forget by the time I do have time.
And now I don't really have anything to say, but just didn't want my latest blog to be 5 weeks old.
I had dinner with Lee and the boys last night in Swannanoa. Grilled shrimp, salmon, corn on the cob, flounder and salad. Ice cream for dessert. All was delicious. Hunter changed the oil in my car, Lee and I went for a walk around lake Tomahawk, saw a mama duck with 5 tiny new baby ducklings...soooo cute! We watched a movie a neighbor had let us borrow: the Wanted.
It was shooty, and punchy and gory and speedy and crashy. Not my kind of movie, but the boys liked it.
Today I made a birthday card for a great nephew, went to the session at the Bahai center, went to Staton's birthday party, sat beside Mary on the way too and from the party in her car and she got a speeding ticket (I think it was a speed trap) on the way home.
Since I got home I have been doing email and facebook and chatting with a friend via gmail, talked to Sherry who is in Oregon for about an hour, and am now going to eat a PB waffle, prepare for bed and phone another friend before prayers and lights out.
So, ...that's all for now!
Well, first let me say that I haven't had much to tell that is bloggable. Or if I think of something I don't have the time at that moment and then I forget by the time I do have time.
And now I don't really have anything to say, but just didn't want my latest blog to be 5 weeks old.
I had dinner with Lee and the boys last night in Swannanoa. Grilled shrimp, salmon, corn on the cob, flounder and salad. Ice cream for dessert. All was delicious. Hunter changed the oil in my car, Lee and I went for a walk around lake Tomahawk, saw a mama duck with 5 tiny new baby ducklings...soooo cute! We watched a movie a neighbor had let us borrow: the Wanted.
It was shooty, and punchy and gory and speedy and crashy. Not my kind of movie, but the boys liked it.
Today I made a birthday card for a great nephew, went to the session at the Bahai center, went to Staton's birthday party, sat beside Mary on the way too and from the party in her car and she got a speeding ticket (I think it was a speed trap) on the way home.
Since I got home I have been doing email and facebook and chatting with a friend via gmail, talked to Sherry who is in Oregon for about an hour, and am now going to eat a PB waffle, prepare for bed and phone another friend before prayers and lights out.
So, ...that's all for now!
Saturday, 13 June 2009
It was the greatest thing
That title is a quote from Hunter and Chase's Procrastination Rap that they laugh at because as you can tell it was improv and many of the lines didn't rhyme.
Well, I have been going through a bunch of old letters I have saved from many years ago and got this great idea to write a few excerpts from some of them.
This one is from a letter Grandmother Hunter wrote to me in October of 1983. I had been married for about 6 months.
She wrote: (October '83)
"How sweet of you to say such nice things about getting old. Actually it doesn't bother me that I am getting older. In fact I sort of welcome it. For a long time, it was a very irritating fact to me that someone was always making a comment such as 'You don't look old enough to have a 12 year old son!' Or, 'You look young enough to be her sister.' And I got the feeling that I must look like a very raw, inexperienced girl who didn't have brains enough to have children, much less look after them and train them. So I looked forward to the day when I 'looked' old enough to be a mother, then a grandmother and now a great grandmother. Now they say 'Oh you don't look like a great grandmother!' So I am getting the same old tune! However, no matter how I look, I know I have brains enough to do a good job with my children (just look at your mother!) and they are brainy enough to do a good job with my grandchildren (just look at you!),
and they are clever enough to do a good job with my great grandchildren (just look at Bonnie!) so I look them straight in the eye and say, 'Well I am and proud of it!"
And here is one from Mom: (August '83)
"How do you like my one-armed typing....I had to go back to the doctor yesterday and he put a cast on my arm. Yes, a full cast....Tag is cutting the grass by himself to earn money. It is so hot that he must cut only during early morn hours or late evening but he is doing well. I can hear him out there now. whoops, the mower stalled and here he comes to get cooled off. Bless it!"
And from Tag: (November '82, although when you read this one you'll think it should have been written about the same time as mom's above)
"How ya doin'? I am soooooooo sooooorry I haven't written yet. How's Asheville? Have you sold my train table yet? I'm reading The Jungle Book. It's very interesting. Did you know I'm mowing lawns now? I've earned $16 so far.....How's Lee? have you gotten to the green belt in karate yet? I can't wait till you do....What do you want for Intercalary? I hope we can all get together for it. Here's my plans: Me, Mary, Dad, Mom, You, Lee, Bonnie, Jeff and Andy, get together, go to Disney world, then come home and open presents! It might cost $110, but we can all chip in! I don't know why, but I don't have much more to say. I love you and I guess I'll go now."
And from Mary: (December '82)
"Hi! Sorry I haven't written in a long time....I'm trying to write fast. (I know you read fast.) What's the weather like up there? It is hot down here. I really don't have much to say....Do you have a green belt in karate yet? What comes after it? How are you and Lee doing? I don't have any boyfriends. No guys like me. I wish they did....What do you want for Intercalary? I'll give it to you when you come down....I hope Lee can come, too....Well, I guess I'll go now. I love you and miss you a lot. Tell Lee I love him, too." S. W. A. B. K.
And here is an excerpt from one of Bonnie's letters: (August '84)
"The other day I made tuna fish for Andy and he said 'Put salad in it like Aunt Lynn does.' I think salad means celery, but I didn't have any so I put pickles and it suited him fine. Then today I made some and didn't put pickles and he wouldn't eat it until I put salad in it like Aunt Lynn's. Also we went in the grocery store and he just started saying 'Uncle Lee and Aunt Lynn' over and over again."
And from 3 letters of Willy Light:
Letter 1) Lynn, How's it goin babe!? I miss you lots! this is just a quick note to say hi! and let you know I've been thinking 'bout you. How's Bonnie and hubby and the new coming addition. Sorry I didn't make it to the wedding, I know it had to be beautiful for Bonnie is.....
Letter 2) I'm living at Carolina beach working at a waterslide...we have a nice place on the beach. I'm real happy. the beach is beautiful. so what's happenin in Candler how's Bonnie and her kid write me please and let me know. I miss you a lot and please take care. I'm always thinkin bout you.....
Letter or birthday card 3) Tell all hello especially Bonnie and Andy. Have a wonderful 20th birthday. I did. Thinking of you always....
Letter 4 was a hholiday card addressed on the inside to Tag, Mary, Bonnie, Fran and Wayne---not me interestingly) I miss all of you. Especially Bonnie. I love all of you.
I don't know what order those letters came because they are not dated or in postmarked envelopes.
And I even have a letter from Grandaddy Eury:
Dear Lee and Lynn, I am going to try to write you a few lines this morning to say I am sorry I haven't written sooner (does anyone else see a theme in some of these letters?). We had a real nice time with you Thanksgiving. ......Boy another good ol turkey dinner would be good. Guess I'll have a hot dog for lunch and make like it is turkey.
And from Aunt Anne:
Dear Lynn, I thought you might be interested in placing some of your art work in my shop. I'm really impressed with your work and who knows--I might be able to help you make some money with it. Hope to see you and Lee soon. Come and visit if you can.
Anyway, I just thought that was some fun.
Hope you did, too.
Well, I have been going through a bunch of old letters I have saved from many years ago and got this great idea to write a few excerpts from some of them.
This one is from a letter Grandmother Hunter wrote to me in October of 1983. I had been married for about 6 months.
She wrote: (October '83)
"How sweet of you to say such nice things about getting old. Actually it doesn't bother me that I am getting older. In fact I sort of welcome it. For a long time, it was a very irritating fact to me that someone was always making a comment such as 'You don't look old enough to have a 12 year old son!' Or, 'You look young enough to be her sister.' And I got the feeling that I must look like a very raw, inexperienced girl who didn't have brains enough to have children, much less look after them and train them. So I looked forward to the day when I 'looked' old enough to be a mother, then a grandmother and now a great grandmother. Now they say 'Oh you don't look like a great grandmother!' So I am getting the same old tune! However, no matter how I look, I know I have brains enough to do a good job with my children (just look at your mother!) and they are brainy enough to do a good job with my grandchildren (just look at you!),
and they are clever enough to do a good job with my great grandchildren (just look at Bonnie!) so I look them straight in the eye and say, 'Well I am and proud of it!"
And here is one from Mom: (August '83)
"How do you like my one-armed typing....I had to go back to the doctor yesterday and he put a cast on my arm. Yes, a full cast....Tag is cutting the grass by himself to earn money. It is so hot that he must cut only during early morn hours or late evening but he is doing well. I can hear him out there now. whoops, the mower stalled and here he comes to get cooled off. Bless it!"
And from Tag: (November '82, although when you read this one you'll think it should have been written about the same time as mom's above)
"How ya doin'? I am soooooooo sooooorry I haven't written yet. How's Asheville? Have you sold my train table yet? I'm reading The Jungle Book. It's very interesting. Did you know I'm mowing lawns now? I've earned $16 so far.....How's Lee? have you gotten to the green belt in karate yet? I can't wait till you do....What do you want for Intercalary? I hope we can all get together for it. Here's my plans: Me, Mary, Dad, Mom, You, Lee, Bonnie, Jeff and Andy, get together, go to Disney world, then come home and open presents! It might cost $110, but we can all chip in! I don't know why, but I don't have much more to say. I love you and I guess I'll go now."
And from Mary: (December '82)
"Hi! Sorry I haven't written in a long time....I'm trying to write fast. (I know you read fast.) What's the weather like up there? It is hot down here. I really don't have much to say....Do you have a green belt in karate yet? What comes after it? How are you and Lee doing? I don't have any boyfriends. No guys like me. I wish they did....What do you want for Intercalary? I'll give it to you when you come down....I hope Lee can come, too....Well, I guess I'll go now. I love you and miss you a lot. Tell Lee I love him, too." S. W. A. B. K.
And here is an excerpt from one of Bonnie's letters: (August '84)
"The other day I made tuna fish for Andy and he said 'Put salad in it like Aunt Lynn does.' I think salad means celery, but I didn't have any so I put pickles and it suited him fine. Then today I made some and didn't put pickles and he wouldn't eat it until I put salad in it like Aunt Lynn's. Also we went in the grocery store and he just started saying 'Uncle Lee and Aunt Lynn' over and over again."
And from 3 letters of Willy Light:
Letter 1) Lynn, How's it goin babe!? I miss you lots! this is just a quick note to say hi! and let you know I've been thinking 'bout you. How's Bonnie and hubby and the new coming addition. Sorry I didn't make it to the wedding, I know it had to be beautiful for Bonnie is.....
Letter 2) I'm living at Carolina beach working at a waterslide...we have a nice place on the beach. I'm real happy. the beach is beautiful. so what's happenin in Candler how's Bonnie and her kid write me please and let me know. I miss you a lot and please take care. I'm always thinkin bout you.....
Letter or birthday card 3) Tell all hello especially Bonnie and Andy. Have a wonderful 20th birthday. I did. Thinking of you always....
Letter 4 was a hholiday card addressed on the inside to Tag, Mary, Bonnie, Fran and Wayne---not me interestingly) I miss all of you. Especially Bonnie. I love all of you.
I don't know what order those letters came because they are not dated or in postmarked envelopes.
And I even have a letter from Grandaddy Eury:
Dear Lee and Lynn, I am going to try to write you a few lines this morning to say I am sorry I haven't written sooner (does anyone else see a theme in some of these letters?). We had a real nice time with you Thanksgiving. ......Boy another good ol turkey dinner would be good. Guess I'll have a hot dog for lunch and make like it is turkey.
And from Aunt Anne:
Dear Lynn, I thought you might be interested in placing some of your art work in my shop. I'm really impressed with your work and who knows--I might be able to help you make some money with it. Hope to see you and Lee soon. Come and visit if you can.
Anyway, I just thought that was some fun.
Hope you did, too.
Monday, 8 June 2009
video rap
At 10pm my two youngest sons are busy working on Chase's final exam project for Music Appreciation. He has procrastinated on this project for a week. It is due tomorrow. They are writing a rap about him procrastinating on the project and they filmed themselves doing some random things around the house and outside and made up a bunch of things that they supposedly did instead of working on the project. So they are making a rap music video as his final exam project. I hope it turns out well. Some of the dancing they did in the parking lot looks real funny slowed down or sped up. I am looking forward to this.
Now, you all saw the trailer for the movie Shoot Out that Chase and Hunter and friends were working on during all of Spring break,.....well it is finished now as it was part of Joshua's Senior exit project. He will be attending Savannah School of Art and Design this fall in the film making program. When he showed the video to the video production teacher, the teacher said it was beautiful and wanted permission to have a copy to use for teaching in future classes. Mr. Luther also said the writing and the plot was very good (Chase was responsible for most of that).
I hope to see that 20 minute movie soon. I think he will show it at his graduation party next Sunday.
If we can get copies we'll let you know. Otherwise it may show up on youtube, but the trailer was not good quality on there and the whole movie might not be either. We'll see.
I have volunteered to take on the task of putting a little garden on the north side of the Bahai Center. I have to round up some gravel, dirt and plants from people's yards and hopefully won't have to spend any money. I have a space to fill approximately 18 inches by 52 inches and about a foot or so deep.
Ok, so now it is 11pm and the video is done (very, very improv). They are trying to put it on youtube as I write. If successful I will embed here for your viewing pleasure.
Now, you all saw the trailer for the movie Shoot Out that Chase and Hunter and friends were working on during all of Spring break,.....well it is finished now as it was part of Joshua's Senior exit project. He will be attending Savannah School of Art and Design this fall in the film making program. When he showed the video to the video production teacher, the teacher said it was beautiful and wanted permission to have a copy to use for teaching in future classes. Mr. Luther also said the writing and the plot was very good (Chase was responsible for most of that).
I hope to see that 20 minute movie soon. I think he will show it at his graduation party next Sunday.
If we can get copies we'll let you know. Otherwise it may show up on youtube, but the trailer was not good quality on there and the whole movie might not be either. We'll see.
I have volunteered to take on the task of putting a little garden on the north side of the Bahai Center. I have to round up some gravel, dirt and plants from people's yards and hopefully won't have to spend any money. I have a space to fill approximately 18 inches by 52 inches and about a foot or so deep.
Ok, so now it is 11pm and the video is done (very, very improv). They are trying to put it on youtube as I write. If successful I will embed here for your viewing pleasure.
Saturday, 6 June 2009
weekend plans
I awoke at 6:45 this morning (have a hard time sleeping till 7:30 anymore), and began to fix a nice breakfast for Chase (who was not yet awake) before he goes to take his SAT: fresh organic strawberries, scrambled eggs and toast.
Checked email, deleted a zillion old emails from a year ago past relationship. Soooooo glad to finally feel like I can do that. Not only that I CAN do it, but I WANT to do it and it feels real good! E-Chatted with Beth about the Howard Street craft supply sale today where she will be selling gem stones she cannot use in her fair trade jewelry. Looking for some old Baha'i Children's class lesson plans for someone to use. Organizing my storage closet and bedroom stuff (more storage stuff as I don't have enough rooms for all the art supplies and books and misc. stuff I have).
Will vacuum after a while, will go for a walk somewhere-sometime. Will go to the craft supply sale. Will meet with a woman who is picking up something that Don is selling. if it needs it, I will cut the grass at the Bahai Center. Will babysit Lawson at my house overnight starting at 6pm. Hope to pick up a movie to watch tonight after she goes to sleep.
That's enough to keep me busy all weekend.........
Checked email, deleted a zillion old emails from a year ago past relationship. Soooooo glad to finally feel like I can do that. Not only that I CAN do it, but I WANT to do it and it feels real good! E-Chatted with Beth about the Howard Street craft supply sale today where she will be selling gem stones she cannot use in her fair trade jewelry. Looking for some old Baha'i Children's class lesson plans for someone to use. Organizing my storage closet and bedroom stuff (more storage stuff as I don't have enough rooms for all the art supplies and books and misc. stuff I have).
Will vacuum after a while, will go for a walk somewhere-sometime. Will go to the craft supply sale. Will meet with a woman who is picking up something that Don is selling. if it needs it, I will cut the grass at the Bahai Center. Will babysit Lawson at my house overnight starting at 6pm. Hope to pick up a movie to watch tonight after she goes to sleep.
That's enough to keep me busy all weekend.........
Wednesday, 3 June 2009
The moral of the story
Well, many of you commented on my dream, and I replied to you individually with my own ending, but I had said I would post it here later, so that is what I am doing.
I saw it as the woman realized that she needed to have faith that things are as they are supposed to be. Her husband (the universe) would give her what she needed. Each time her cup would become empty she would be given another nut. The fact that she did not have many nuts meant she had less to carry. Her burden was lightened in that she only had to carry one nut at time. It felt like her husband was protecting her or helping her by not giving her too much at one time. He was carrying all the nuts and giving them as she needed them.
It was an incredible dream.
I thought I wanted to do an actual blog this morning, but this is all I can come up with for now.
I saw it as the woman realized that she needed to have faith that things are as they are supposed to be. Her husband (the universe) would give her what she needed. Each time her cup would become empty she would be given another nut. The fact that she did not have many nuts meant she had less to carry. Her burden was lightened in that she only had to carry one nut at time. It felt like her husband was protecting her or helping her by not giving her too much at one time. He was carrying all the nuts and giving them as she needed them.
It was an incredible dream.
I thought I wanted to do an actual blog this morning, but this is all I can come up with for now.
Monday, 25 May 2009
Choose your own moral
Ok, I had a very interesting dream this morning. I will try to tell it the best way I can. I will even try to relate it as if it is a fable because it felt like one in my dream. Some details are added because it wouldn't make sense if I don't add them, so it won't be my dream exactly but it will be the main idea of the dream anyway.
Once there was a woman who had a gourd cup with a single nut in it. It happened that eventually she realized that some women had several nuts in their cup and she became discontent with her cup of only one nut.
She wondered why hers only had one when others had more. She began to feel a little angry but didn't say anything to anyone, till one day she met a wise man and complained to him about her situation. The wise man then said to her, what would happen if you ate this nut and gave your husband your empty cup? The woman thought that an interesting question. But she knew the answer and also figured out what the wise man was trying to say.
Now, this is where my dream ended and I had an epiphany and woke up immediately and wanted to share this dream. So, I want your comment to reflect what you think happened next or what the woman figured out or whatever. Make your own ending. But don't read the other comments first if you happen to not be the first to make one. Then after you have ended the story your way, read the others. It should be interesting. And in my next post I will say what I thought this meant.
Have fun!
Once there was a woman who had a gourd cup with a single nut in it. It happened that eventually she realized that some women had several nuts in their cup and she became discontent with her cup of only one nut.
She wondered why hers only had one when others had more. She began to feel a little angry but didn't say anything to anyone, till one day she met a wise man and complained to him about her situation. The wise man then said to her, what would happen if you ate this nut and gave your husband your empty cup? The woman thought that an interesting question. But she knew the answer and also figured out what the wise man was trying to say.
Now, this is where my dream ended and I had an epiphany and woke up immediately and wanted to share this dream. So, I want your comment to reflect what you think happened next or what the woman figured out or whatever. Make your own ending. But don't read the other comments first if you happen to not be the first to make one. Then after you have ended the story your way, read the others. It should be interesting. And in my next post I will say what I thought this meant.
Have fun!
Not Easily Broken
I just want to say that I rented a good movie from Redbox (at Walmart or Walgreens) called "Not Easily Broken" about how to get through troubled times and more specifically troubled marriages.
In the special features part of the DVD talking about making the movie someone says "Men are as emotional and have as many emotional needs and as many fears and insecurities and questions as they (women) do and they get tired of acting like they don't."
One of the actresses says "You can step out of your marriage at any point and time, it's a choice not to and if you're missing something go back, know what that is, understand what you're missing and go work on that."
The author, T.D Jakes, of the book the movie is based on says that love is the victor in this movie.
I recommend it to anyone and I think everyone can get a little something from this movie.
In the special features part of the DVD talking about making the movie someone says "Men are as emotional and have as many emotional needs and as many fears and insecurities and questions as they (women) do and they get tired of acting like they don't."
One of the actresses says "You can step out of your marriage at any point and time, it's a choice not to and if you're missing something go back, know what that is, understand what you're missing and go work on that."
The author, T.D Jakes, of the book the movie is based on says that love is the victor in this movie.
I recommend it to anyone and I think everyone can get a little something from this movie.
Wednesday, 29 April 2009
Another generation
Well, this movie looks pretty good. I think I'll want to see it when it comes out.
How about you?
Friday, 3 April 2009
I'm going to give birth!
Yeah, you heard me. Well, last night I had a dream that I was pregnant. It was nice in that I could feel the baby moving, which was my favorite thing about being pregnant. So, today I was talking to someone who said that maybe my dream meant I was going to give birth to something. Well, then a few hours later Beth called me to say thanks for sending her the info about an upcoming art fair because she is going to be in it. She said it didn't cost anything and so I got an idea, after getting complimented and encouraged by Joseph over the last few weeks, that maybe I could be in the fair and show some of my photos. It occurred to me that this launching myself into showing my work might be the birth that was represented in my dream. I am giving birth to my creative side. So, I will be very busy over the next few weeks getting ready for it. I hope I sell a few things. That would excite me to no end! I would finally be earning something for my creativity! It is so exciting I can hardly stand it! So spread the word about this upcoming art fair to be held on Saturday April 25 from 11-3 at Woods Edge Apt clubhouse. And pray I get my act together and get enough stuff to show and sell. In the meantime, here are some more pics from Steven's dinner, that Joseph took.
Wednesday, 1 April 2009
Oh nothing
Well, not nothing. I had a busy weekend this last weekend of March. I had a friend come up from Atlanta to visit. The first thing we did was go to the arts and crafts supply store and he bought me some watercolor paper and a paintbrush. He had asked me ahead of time if I would allow him to do that. Then we went to dinner at Rita's Cantina with the family Friday night to visit with Steven who is in from Iraq for a couple of weeks. Joseph took a lot of pictures and I have a hard copy of one of Carmel to give her when I see her. Joseph made sure to have one made before he left.
After dinner I was feeling a little fried from the noise of the restaurant and the excitement of meeting Joseph for the first time. So we drove to a quiet place to just sit and talk for a while. The place turned out to be the parking lot of the Bahai Center. Saturday I did something I hadn't done in a while. We started the day with breakfast at Green Sage in the heart of downtown. Then we went OOOH shopping and art browsing downtown even though it was raining. That was very nice and relaxing. I often wish I had the time or made the time to make that a regular activity. It is more enjoyable of course with a friend. We had homemade soup at my house for lunch and watched a video I had made several years ago for the 1st Day of Ridvan Holy Day and the one for Evan's 15th birthday party, lovingly dubbed by Tag as Evanfest 2001 I think. Then we went to have dinner with mom and dad at their place. Eddie was there too, of course. We had planned to go to a Mary Davis concert at 7:30 so we left Mom and Dad's by 7. The concert was good, but I was exhausted by the end of the night. However, before taking Joseph back to his hotel we went to I Hop for a midnight snack. I got so sleepy I thought I might have trouble driving home, but Joseph talked to me on the way home so I made it no problem. It was a short drive thank goodness.
Let's see....Sunday morning I was feeling the need to get my kitchen cleaned so Joseph came over and watched me wash dishes. We had tuna fish sandwiches and then headed over to the Botannical gardens to snap pictures. Joseph is a photographer when he is not counseling patients or spending time with his children. He brought his nice cameras along and let me borrow one for the day showing me how to adjust the settings to change the images as I felt they needed to be altered. The light didn't want to cooperate. I didn't realize that we spent almost 3 hours there, the time flew by so quickly.
When it got cold, and it did get cold quite quickly, we headed over to Walgreens to put the pictures we had taken onto CDs. This is when he went ahead and had a print made of Carmel from the dinner Friday night. We had an early dinner at Early Girl Eatery, then Joseph dropped me off at my place, visiting for a few minutes, before heading back to Atlanta.
After dinner I was feeling a little fried from the noise of the restaurant and the excitement of meeting Joseph for the first time. So we drove to a quiet place to just sit and talk for a while. The place turned out to be the parking lot of the Bahai Center. Saturday I did something I hadn't done in a while. We started the day with breakfast at Green Sage in the heart of downtown. Then we went OOOH shopping and art browsing downtown even though it was raining. That was very nice and relaxing. I often wish I had the time or made the time to make that a regular activity. It is more enjoyable of course with a friend. We had homemade soup at my house for lunch and watched a video I had made several years ago for the 1st Day of Ridvan Holy Day and the one for Evan's 15th birthday party, lovingly dubbed by Tag as Evanfest 2001 I think. Then we went to have dinner with mom and dad at their place. Eddie was there too, of course. We had planned to go to a Mary Davis concert at 7:30 so we left Mom and Dad's by 7. The concert was good, but I was exhausted by the end of the night. However, before taking Joseph back to his hotel we went to I Hop for a midnight snack. I got so sleepy I thought I might have trouble driving home, but Joseph talked to me on the way home so I made it no problem. It was a short drive thank goodness.
Let's see....Sunday morning I was feeling the need to get my kitchen cleaned so Joseph came over and watched me wash dishes. We had tuna fish sandwiches and then headed over to the Botannical gardens to snap pictures. Joseph is a photographer when he is not counseling patients or spending time with his children. He brought his nice cameras along and let me borrow one for the day showing me how to adjust the settings to change the images as I felt they needed to be altered. The light didn't want to cooperate. I didn't realize that we spent almost 3 hours there, the time flew by so quickly.
When it got cold, and it did get cold quite quickly, we headed over to Walgreens to put the pictures we had taken onto CDs. This is when he went ahead and had a print made of Carmel from the dinner Friday night. We had an early dinner at Early Girl Eatery, then Joseph dropped me off at my place, visiting for a few minutes, before heading back to Atlanta.
Tuesday, 10 March 2009
Then was the door of the Kingdom set wide and the light of a new heaven on earth revealed unto seeing eyes.
Door into the House of 'Abdu'llah Pasha, in Akka Israel,
where Baha'u'llah's family was imprisoned
where Baha'u'llah's family was imprisoned
Farewell words of 'Abdu'l-Bahá, to the people attending
The Higher Thought Centre in London, November 1911.
O NOBLE friends and seekers for the Kingdom of God! About sixty years ago in the time when the fire of war was blazing among the nations of the world, and bloodshed was considered an honour to mankind; in a time when the carnage of thousands stained the earth; when children were rendered fatherless; when fathers were without sons and mothers were spent with weeping; when the darkness of inter-racial hatred and animosity seemed to envelope mankind and blot out the divine light; when the wafting of the holy breath of God seemed to be cut off -- in that time Bahá'u'lláh rose like a shining star from the horizon of Persia, inspired with the message of Peace and of Brotherhood among men.
He brought the light of guidance to the world; He kindled the fire of love and revealed the great reality of the True Beloved. He sought to destroy the foundations of religious and racial prejudice and of political rivalry.
He likened the world of humanity to a tree, and all the nations to its branches and the people to its leaves, buds and fruits.
His mission was to change ignorant fanaticism into Universal love, to establish in the minds of His followers the basis of the unity of humanity and to bring about in practice the equality of mankind. He declared that all men were equal under the mercy and bounty of God.
Then was the door of the Kingdom set wide and the light of a new heaven on earth revealed unto seeing eyes.
Yet the whole of Bahá'u'lláh's life was spent in the midst of great trial and cruel tyranny. In Persia He was thrown into prison, put into chains, and lived constantly under the menace of the sword. He was scorned and scourged.
When He was about thirty years old He was exiled to Baghdad, and from Baghdad to Constantinople, and from there to Adrianople and lastly to the prison of 'Akká.
Yet under chains and from His cell He succeeded in spreading His cause, and uplifting the banner of the oneness of humanity.
Now, God be praised, we see the light of Love shining in the East and in the West; and the tent of fellowship is raised in the midst of all the peoples for the drawing together of all hearts and souls.
The call of the Kingdom has been sounded, and the annunciation of the world's need for Universal Peace has enlightened the world's conscience.
My hope is that through the zeal and ardour of the pure of heart, the darkness of hatred and difference will be entirely abolished, and the light of love and unity shall shine; this world shall become a new world; things material shall become the mirror of the divine; human hearts shall meet and embrace each other; the whole world become as a man's native country and the different races be counted as one race.
Then disputes and differences will vanish, and the Divine Beloved be revealed on this earth.
As the East and the West are illumined by one sun, so all races, nations, and creeds shall be seen as the servants of the One God. The whole earth is one home, and all peoples, did they but know it, are bathed in the oneness of God's mercy. God created all. He gives sustenance to all. He guides and trains all under the shadow of his bounty. We must follow the example God Himself gives us, and do away with all disputations and quarrels.
Praise be to God! the signs of friendship are appearing, and as a proof of this I, today, coming from the East, have met in this London of the West with extreme kindness, regard and love, and I am deeply thankful and happy. I shall never forget this time I am spending with you.
Forty years I endured in a Turkish prison. Then in 1908 the Young Turks "Committee of Union and Progress" shook the gates of despotism and set all prisoners free, myself among them. I pray that blessing may be upon all who work for Union and Progress.
In the future untrue reports will be spread regarding Bahá'u'lláh in order to hinder the spread of Truth. I tell you this, that you may be awake and prepared.
I leave you with prayer that all the beauty of the Kingdom may be yours. In deep regret at our separation, I bid you good-bye.
____________________
And speaking of beauty.....another picture from my Pilgrimage almost 4 years ago...
Taken from the terraces of the Shrine of The Baboverlooking the Bay of Haifa
Monday, 2 March 2009
No TV--fantasy companion
Well, Sherry and Ken have done a radical thing by trying to not use their cars as much as possible. I have done a radical thing by shutting off the cable in my house (not for philosophical reasons, but for financial reasons). But you know, I like what is occurring in my home as a result. First of all, the boys and I play more games which involves interaction. But also there has been an increase in creativity from the boys (not me unfortunately because I seem to have too many duties). I gave each of the boys some money for Ayyam-i-Ha this year instead of gifts which are so hard to buy for them anymore, as they like things I don't know how to buy.
And today Chase used his money to buy a very nice ukelele. He is currently sitting at the computer going through a lesson. He is making blisters on his fingers. There is no TV at Lee's house anymore either for the same reason($$), and the boys have written a rap song that is really cool except not suitable for all audiences.
On another note, I was reading some "notes" on Facebook from three people who happen to be married and I had an aha moment. First of all, I often daydream about having a companion. A lover. A friend that I get to be with every day like most of the people I know. And I have thought to myself that if I had this fantasy companion I would definitely not be on facebook as much or maybe even blogging as much (not that I do it that often), and I would be spending my time talking to them, cuddling with them, listening to them, cooking with them, discussing ideas with them, holding their hand......
Which brings me to my aha moment. There was a question in the "Franology, Maryology, Bethology" note that asks "Have you held someone's hand today? And I noticed that not one of these married people had held the hand of their significant other that day. Of course, that could be that it was early in the day, but I realized that my fantasy is just that, a fantasy. If I remember when I am lonely that other people rarely have the relationships I imagine in my head, then it might be easier to accept my singleness. Having a companion does not guarantee that I will not be lonely (just remembering my own previous marriage helps with that), nor does it guarantee I will be happy all the time or making love whenever I want or that life would be easier. There are no guarantees in anything.
Now that I am not in a relationship I often think that people who are take it for granted, just like I did when I was in one. I sure hope that one thing I might have learned these last few years is not to take anything for granted. To notice what I have rather than what I do not, to appreciate what I have whatever it is and however meager it may seem at the time.
For now, I think I will appreciate that I have running water in my home and wash a few dishes and drink some with an ibuprofen for my headache.
And today Chase used his money to buy a very nice ukelele. He is currently sitting at the computer going through a lesson. He is making blisters on his fingers. There is no TV at Lee's house anymore either for the same reason($$), and the boys have written a rap song that is really cool except not suitable for all audiences.
On another note, I was reading some "notes" on Facebook from three people who happen to be married and I had an aha moment. First of all, I often daydream about having a companion. A lover. A friend that I get to be with every day like most of the people I know. And I have thought to myself that if I had this fantasy companion I would definitely not be on facebook as much or maybe even blogging as much (not that I do it that often), and I would be spending my time talking to them, cuddling with them, listening to them, cooking with them, discussing ideas with them, holding their hand......
Which brings me to my aha moment. There was a question in the "Franology, Maryology, Bethology" note that asks "Have you held someone's hand today? And I noticed that not one of these married people had held the hand of their significant other that day. Of course, that could be that it was early in the day, but I realized that my fantasy is just that, a fantasy. If I remember when I am lonely that other people rarely have the relationships I imagine in my head, then it might be easier to accept my singleness. Having a companion does not guarantee that I will not be lonely (just remembering my own previous marriage helps with that), nor does it guarantee I will be happy all the time or making love whenever I want or that life would be easier. There are no guarantees in anything.
Now that I am not in a relationship I often think that people who are take it for granted, just like I did when I was in one. I sure hope that one thing I might have learned these last few years is not to take anything for granted. To notice what I have rather than what I do not, to appreciate what I have whatever it is and however meager it may seem at the time.
For now, I think I will appreciate that I have running water in my home and wash a few dishes and drink some with an ibuprofen for my headache.
Thursday, 26 February 2009
Amazed once again
"My children never cease to amaze me" is a cliche phrase, yet I must use it here. Well, I guess I don't HAVE to, but I am going to. I saw Chase perform tonight at the school in a student written and directed one act play. I have seen him, as have many of you, doing the "Whose Line is it Anyway" improv stuff and so I shouldn't be surprised, oh and I have seen a few of his homemade videos where he has lines, but still, he had a serious part tonight and he was fantastic! There was a funny surprise in his performance (that wasn't a surprise to me since he let the cat out of the bag accidentally) too that I really enjoyed. I won't say too much before you get a chance to see the play (I know Luella is going tomorrow night). Speaking of Luella, Joshua did a great job, too. I know you will enjoy his performance.
So, this is one of those proud moments as a parent, seeing your child do well in something they enjoy. I hope he continues to do some of that, but I know he really has his heart in his music, so he may not pursue it that much, but I will support him if he does! I just can't get over how natural he seems at it.
But, also, almost all of the other plays tonight were enjoyable as well. Sometimes they are not, but this year they were all pretty good to excellent. Well worth the $6 ticket in my opinion. Most were somewhat to really comedic.
I did not take the video camera because I wanted to just enjoy the performance. So, I won't have it to look at for posterity. Oh well. It has to be zen I guess.
I just love all my kids so much. They are wonderful and I feel blessed to have each of them in my life.
Today was the first day of Ayyam-i-Ha and I have not done much to prepare for it. I feel like the worst parent in the world. I have not gotten one gift yet for any of my kids and still don't know what to get them. Sad I know. My erratic schedule has not helped at all. And now I need to hit the hay as they say.
OH, I hit the hay without publishing this so it is being published a day late.
I am so scattered these days. Isn't that a Rolling Stones song? :)
So, this is one of those proud moments as a parent, seeing your child do well in something they enjoy. I hope he continues to do some of that, but I know he really has his heart in his music, so he may not pursue it that much, but I will support him if he does! I just can't get over how natural he seems at it.
But, also, almost all of the other plays tonight were enjoyable as well. Sometimes they are not, but this year they were all pretty good to excellent. Well worth the $6 ticket in my opinion. Most were somewhat to really comedic.
I did not take the video camera because I wanted to just enjoy the performance. So, I won't have it to look at for posterity. Oh well. It has to be zen I guess.
I just love all my kids so much. They are wonderful and I feel blessed to have each of them in my life.
Today was the first day of Ayyam-i-Ha and I have not done much to prepare for it. I feel like the worst parent in the world. I have not gotten one gift yet for any of my kids and still don't know what to get them. Sad I know. My erratic schedule has not helped at all. And now I need to hit the hay as they say.
OH, I hit the hay without publishing this so it is being published a day late.
I am so scattered these days. Isn't that a Rolling Stones song? :)
Monday, 23 February 2009
Let Us Live Our Lives With Kindness and Love
Let us live our lives with kindness and love, and love
Let us live our lives with kindness and love, and love
And not judge or speak ill of another and let all of the words that we speak
be rooted in love, be rooted in love, be rooted in love
This is another song from the album "Higher Ground" which I cannot say enough good about.
I am not supposed to be eating chocolate. Yet, I ate some tonight after 9pm and now I cannot go to sleep from the buzz.
So, I am listening to my favorite CD of the moment and wanting to share the songs with everyone.
I am, I am, I am enough, I am enough
I am, I am, I am enough, I am enough
I am, I am, I am whole, I am whole
I am, I am, I am whole, I am whole
We are, we are, one in God, one in God
We are, we are, one in God, one in God
God is, God is, All Glorious, All Glorious
God is, God is, All Glorious, All Glorious
I must get to bed........
Let us live our lives with kindness and love, and love
And not judge or speak ill of another and let all of the words that we speak
be rooted in love, be rooted in love, be rooted in love
This is another song from the album "Higher Ground" which I cannot say enough good about.
I am not supposed to be eating chocolate. Yet, I ate some tonight after 9pm and now I cannot go to sleep from the buzz.
So, I am listening to my favorite CD of the moment and wanting to share the songs with everyone.
I am, I am, I am enough, I am enough
I am, I am, I am enough, I am enough
I am, I am, I am whole, I am whole
I am, I am, I am whole, I am whole
We are, we are, one in God, one in God
We are, we are, one in God, one in God
God is, God is, All Glorious, All Glorious
God is, God is, All Glorious, All Glorious
I must get to bed........
Friday, 13 February 2009
Thursday, 12 February 2009
You shall seek Me
Beverly, dear Beverly....Thank you sooooo much for the beautiful CD you sent to me that arrived today. I am LOVING it soooo much! I am already learning the songs and want to sing them in harmony with another Bahai in our community, Shawn, who lives in Henderson Co.
So far my favorite is the song that caused you to send me the CD in the first place:
Be Still. I love the harmony in it. But I want to post the lyrics to this other song as it is very powerful...
From O God Guide Me:
You shall seek Me and you shall find Me when you have searched for Me with all your heart and I will be found by you, yes I will be found by you when you have searched for Me with all your heart.
Oh God guide me, Oh God guide me, Show me the way to Your Truth
Oh God guide me, Oh God guide me, Show me the way to myself
You Oh God open doors, You Oh Lord open eyes...open mine
Oh God guide me, Oh God guide me, Show me the way to Your Truth
Oh God guide me, Oh God guide me, Show me the way to myself
Your love for me began before I was in my mother's womb, You know me so well
Oh God guide me, Oh God guide me, Show me the way to Your Truth
Oh God guide me, Oh God guide me, Show me the way to myself
In pain I seek your comfort, In my need I cry out Oh Lord help me
Oh God guide me, Oh God guide me, Show me the way to Your Truth
Oh God guide me, Oh God guide me, Show me the way to myself
Keep me clear, keep me strong. My Lord let me be a light in the darkness
Oh God guide me, Oh God guide me, Show me the way to Your Truth
Oh God guide me, Oh God guide me, Show me the way to myself
Praise, honor and glory to our living God, Oh Most Glorious!
Oh God guide me, Oh God guide me, Show me the way to Your Truth
Oh God guide me, Oh God guide me, Show me the way to myself
Oh God guide me, Oh God guide me, Show me the way to Your Truth
Oh God guide me, Oh God guide me, Show me the way to myself
Show me the way to myself, show me the way to myself
That song is sort of chanty and native American sounding with the drums....it is heavenly.
I am in heaven. Thank you Beverly. Thank you....You are wonderful.....
So far my favorite is the song that caused you to send me the CD in the first place:
Be Still. I love the harmony in it. But I want to post the lyrics to this other song as it is very powerful...
From O God Guide Me:
You shall seek Me and you shall find Me when you have searched for Me with all your heart and I will be found by you, yes I will be found by you when you have searched for Me with all your heart.
Oh God guide me, Oh God guide me, Show me the way to Your Truth
Oh God guide me, Oh God guide me, Show me the way to myself
You Oh God open doors, You Oh Lord open eyes...open mine
Oh God guide me, Oh God guide me, Show me the way to Your Truth
Oh God guide me, Oh God guide me, Show me the way to myself
Your love for me began before I was in my mother's womb, You know me so well
Oh God guide me, Oh God guide me, Show me the way to Your Truth
Oh God guide me, Oh God guide me, Show me the way to myself
In pain I seek your comfort, In my need I cry out Oh Lord help me
Oh God guide me, Oh God guide me, Show me the way to Your Truth
Oh God guide me, Oh God guide me, Show me the way to myself
Keep me clear, keep me strong. My Lord let me be a light in the darkness
Oh God guide me, Oh God guide me, Show me the way to Your Truth
Oh God guide me, Oh God guide me, Show me the way to myself
Praise, honor and glory to our living God, Oh Most Glorious!
Oh God guide me, Oh God guide me, Show me the way to Your Truth
Oh God guide me, Oh God guide me, Show me the way to myself
Oh God guide me, Oh God guide me, Show me the way to Your Truth
Oh God guide me, Oh God guide me, Show me the way to myself
Show me the way to myself, show me the way to myself
That song is sort of chanty and native American sounding with the drums....it is heavenly.
I am in heaven. Thank you Beverly. Thank you....You are wonderful.....
Saturday, 7 February 2009
OCD
I have some OCD tendencies and that is why I can't stop thinking about things sometimes. Wanna know more about it? OK.....
# OCD is an anxiety disorder
# OCD is a neurological malfunction in the frontal part of the brain causing cells to misfire during information processing and decision-making
OCD affects 2.5-4% of the population making it the second most common mental health disorder after depression
What is happening to the person?
The essential features of OCD are recurrent obsessions (intrusive thoughts) that create an awareness of alarm or threat, e.g. "I might get AIDS from the germs on that door knob;" "Since I had the thought of killing my baby, I might be capable of doing it;" or "If I don't pick up that dirty litter someone else might get sick from it, and I would hold myself responsible;" etc.) They are more usually followed by a compulsion carried out to relieve the discomforting thought, e.g. excessive washing or repetitive rituals. Obsessions take the form of either a perceived threat of physical harm to oneself or others. Common OCD Obsessions revolve around:
* Contamination
* Harming self/others
* Losing control
* Sexual worries
* Excessive religious or moral issues
* Forbidden thoughts
* Excessive perfectionism
* A need to tell/confess
* Hypochondria
(I think I exhibit at least 4 of these)
Compulsions are carried out in response to the obsessions. They take the form of repetitive behaviours or rituals. Although they are carried out to relieve/reverse the discomfort felt by the obsession, they only relieve the discomfort in the short-term but in the longer-term exacerbate the condition. The effects of rituals and repetitive behaviour are cumulative, the more sufferers repeat the stronger the compulsion to repeat becomes. Common OCD compulsions are:
* Washing
* Ruminating (thinking obsessively)(Check)
* Repeating/checking
* Repeating words/ speech/conversation
* Touching
* Counting
* Seeking reassurance (check)
* Ordering/arranging (check)
* Hoarding (partial check)
* Praying
* Hair pulling
OCD – What it isn’t
* OCD isn’t a character flaw
* OCD isn’t a sign of personal weakness
* OCD isn’t a sign of mental instability
* OCD isn’t insanity
* OCD isn’t schizophrenia
* OCD isn’t an addiction (compulsive drinking, eating or drug-taking should not be confused
with OCD)
It’s not all bad!
On the contrary, OCD sufferers tend to be:
* Intelligent
* Articulate
* High achievers
* Creative
* Perfectionist
* Conscientious
* Sensitive
Supposedly we all have some OCD tendencies to some degree, but only when they interfere with your life (messing up relationships or work) does it cause problems.
I THINK TOO MUCH! I don't really want to. It does interfere with my life as people get exasperated (Harold told me I used big words a lot and he said that one time when I used this word) with me. I believe this is one reason I am divorced. I don't know. Well, I better get myself to bed. I have another long day tomorrow.
# OCD is an anxiety disorder
# OCD is a neurological malfunction in the frontal part of the brain causing cells to misfire during information processing and decision-making
OCD affects 2.5-4% of the population making it the second most common mental health disorder after depression
What is happening to the person?
The essential features of OCD are recurrent obsessions (intrusive thoughts) that create an awareness of alarm or threat, e.g. "I might get AIDS from the germs on that door knob;" "Since I had the thought of killing my baby, I might be capable of doing it;" or "If I don't pick up that dirty litter someone else might get sick from it, and I would hold myself responsible;" etc.) They are more usually followed by a compulsion carried out to relieve the discomforting thought, e.g. excessive washing or repetitive rituals. Obsessions take the form of either a perceived threat of physical harm to oneself or others. Common OCD Obsessions revolve around:
* Contamination
* Harming self/others
* Losing control
* Sexual worries
* Excessive religious or moral issues
* Forbidden thoughts
* Excessive perfectionism
* A need to tell/confess
* Hypochondria
(I think I exhibit at least 4 of these)
Compulsions are carried out in response to the obsessions. They take the form of repetitive behaviours or rituals. Although they are carried out to relieve/reverse the discomfort felt by the obsession, they only relieve the discomfort in the short-term but in the longer-term exacerbate the condition. The effects of rituals and repetitive behaviour are cumulative, the more sufferers repeat the stronger the compulsion to repeat becomes. Common OCD compulsions are:
* Washing
* Ruminating (thinking obsessively)(Check)
* Repeating/checking
* Repeating words/ speech/conversation
* Touching
* Counting
* Seeking reassurance (check)
* Ordering/arranging (check)
* Hoarding (partial check)
* Praying
* Hair pulling
OCD – What it isn’t
* OCD isn’t a character flaw
* OCD isn’t a sign of personal weakness
* OCD isn’t a sign of mental instability
* OCD isn’t insanity
* OCD isn’t schizophrenia
* OCD isn’t an addiction (compulsive drinking, eating or drug-taking should not be confused
with OCD)
It’s not all bad!
On the contrary, OCD sufferers tend to be:
* Intelligent
* Articulate
* High achievers
* Creative
* Perfectionist
* Conscientious
* Sensitive
Supposedly we all have some OCD tendencies to some degree, but only when they interfere with your life (messing up relationships or work) does it cause problems.
I THINK TOO MUCH! I don't really want to. It does interfere with my life as people get exasperated (Harold told me I used big words a lot and he said that one time when I used this word) with me. I believe this is one reason I am divorced. I don't know. Well, I better get myself to bed. I have another long day tomorrow.
Monday, 2 February 2009
quote match
See if you can match the quote with its author:
“Be who you are and say what you feel because those who mind don't matter and those who matter don't mind.”
"Try not to become a man of success but rather to become a man of value."
"Great spirits have always found violent opposition from mediocre minds.
"A Woman is like a tea bag--you never know how strong she is until she gets in hot water."
"Here's all you have to know about men and women: women are crazy, men are stupid. And the main reason women are crazy is that men are stupid."
"So much has been said and sung of beautiful young girls, why don't somebody wake up to the beauty of old women?
Here are the authors. One of these people said two of the quotes.
Dr. Seuss
Harriet Beecher Stowe
George Carlin
Albert Einstein
Eleanor Roosevelt
“Be who you are and say what you feel because those who mind don't matter and those who matter don't mind.”
"Try not to become a man of success but rather to become a man of value."
"Great spirits have always found violent opposition from mediocre minds.
"A Woman is like a tea bag--you never know how strong she is until she gets in hot water."
"Here's all you have to know about men and women: women are crazy, men are stupid. And the main reason women are crazy is that men are stupid."
"So much has been said and sung of beautiful young girls, why don't somebody wake up to the beauty of old women?
Here are the authors. One of these people said two of the quotes.
Dr. Seuss
Harriet Beecher Stowe
George Carlin
Albert Einstein
Eleanor Roosevelt
Thursday, 29 January 2009
When it rains
I am thankful that last year when the sprinklers burst here, that my unit was spared the destruction of the ensuing floods. I am thankful that when sprinklers or pipes or whatever burst in the next building that I was also removed from that disturbance. So, I should not complain about the special assessment I am now going to have to pay of $245 here when I am being laid off, to the HOA for the HOA to pay for upgrading the sprinklers or whatever in all the buildings so that the same thing doesn't eventually happen to me.
I am thankful that I got some free food from the closing of the restaurant owned by the people who are laying me off because the restaurant had to close.
I am thankful that I have a warm place to rest my body at the end of a busy day.
And I must now go make some money!
I am thankful that I got some free food from the closing of the restaurant owned by the people who are laying me off because the restaurant had to close.
I am thankful that I have a warm place to rest my body at the end of a busy day.
And I must now go make some money!
Friday, 23 January 2009
Night Owl Blues
I sure wish I could stay up all night and write. I have to go to bed so I can function at work tomorrow by 10am.
Thursday, 15 January 2009
Girl Put Your Records On
A while back, my brother sent me this song saying he thought of me when he heard it, and at the time I don't remember understanding why or maybe I just hadn't heard the song before and it didn't immediately click, but I heard it again on the radio just the other day and I really like the groove of it and can relate a bit now.
If I did this right the youtube video should be embedded here for you to watch.
I was awake at 4am this morning and couldn't go back to sleep so I read a little and feel like I am pretty much in a good place of acceptance with my life, but still wanting to work on a few personal things (growth things). Oh Lord, Re-create me!
I miss my kids. I'll be glad to have them back with me again next week. It has been over two weeks now since I had to be out of my home for a week I was supposed to have them and Lee kept them that week.
I guess I'll get around to rescheduling the doctor's appts I canceled because I didn't feel like I can afford them. Turns out that I made more this past year than the year before even though I felt like I was making less. Gotta figure that one out. Where does the money go?
"Get in mah belleee!" is where it goes for one thing. But since we stopped eating out so much that should help. And I have to set a new rule for myself that any gift I give to someone has to be in the $5 range even if it is just a five dollar bill. Or hope that people will understand if I don't get them a gift (for their birthday or Christmas or Ayyam-i-Ha, baby shower, wedding shower, etc). I will say, your gift is that I took myself to the doctor so I can stay healthy and be around to visit with you or help take care of you! Or my gift to you is I bought gas for my car so I can get to work to pay for my house so I don't have to come and live with you!
You get the idea.
I have a back spasm today and hopefully it will abate before I have to drive today. (and I didn't even do handstands!) Won't be going to clean anything today. That will have to wait till later I guess.
Probably won't go walking either (but mostly from the cold). Well, I guess that's all for now!
In the words of a friend of mine..."Have a groovy day!"
If I did this right the youtube video should be embedded here for you to watch.
I was awake at 4am this morning and couldn't go back to sleep so I read a little and feel like I am pretty much in a good place of acceptance with my life, but still wanting to work on a few personal things (growth things). Oh Lord, Re-create me!
I miss my kids. I'll be glad to have them back with me again next week. It has been over two weeks now since I had to be out of my home for a week I was supposed to have them and Lee kept them that week.
I guess I'll get around to rescheduling the doctor's appts I canceled because I didn't feel like I can afford them. Turns out that I made more this past year than the year before even though I felt like I was making less. Gotta figure that one out. Where does the money go?
"Get in mah belleee!" is where it goes for one thing. But since we stopped eating out so much that should help. And I have to set a new rule for myself that any gift I give to someone has to be in the $5 range even if it is just a five dollar bill. Or hope that people will understand if I don't get them a gift (for their birthday or Christmas or Ayyam-i-Ha, baby shower, wedding shower, etc). I will say, your gift is that I took myself to the doctor so I can stay healthy and be around to visit with you or help take care of you! Or my gift to you is I bought gas for my car so I can get to work to pay for my house so I don't have to come and live with you!
You get the idea.
I have a back spasm today and hopefully it will abate before I have to drive today. (and I didn't even do handstands!) Won't be going to clean anything today. That will have to wait till later I guess.
Probably won't go walking either (but mostly from the cold). Well, I guess that's all for now!
In the words of a friend of mine..."Have a groovy day!"
Sunday, 11 January 2009
Busy week
OK, this past week I worked three different jobs for a total of 69 hours in addition to planning and hosting a devotional on Peace at the Bahai center, making Brazilian black bean soup and spinach salad to share with people who attended the devotions since I was expecting some Bahais from Spartanburg to be visiting. I drove them around Asheville and visited with them here at my house until about 3:30. Eddie (my cousin) and I heated up the leftover soup, adding rice to it and Eddie made cornbread to go with it also while I steamed some broccoli and we had an early dinner. I watched the movie Hotel Rwanda, which was very moving and inspiring, but difficult to watch in many places. My cousin Beth is on her way home from Chicago where she was visiting her sister and her dad and we chatted a little while on the phone about TV shows.
Once again, I enjoyed the music of Two Capps and a Beveridge before the devotions.
I got caught up on Sherry's blog about riding the bus (many posts by Ken). I had lunch with Sherry on Friday at O Naturals. That was nice.
OH, I just remembered I get to get a massage at a massage school on Wednesday using some of that extra money I made working all those extra hours! Yay! Really looking forward to that....
I'm on a journey to get more fit and possibly lose a little more weight with my sisters and mom who have joined Lighten Up for Life through Mission Hospitals. I hope I haven't gained weight this weekend with all of the eating I have been doing trying to satisfy a sweet tooth that I cannot satisfy if I am not eating sugar and chocolate. I'm eating plenty of other carbs.
I still have some settling in to do from being gone for the last 6 nights, but I just had to do a little relaxing (hence the movie) after the week I've had.
Now I need to just go to bed getting ready for another work week tomorrow.
Sorry if this is boring. I don't think I will announce this post since it is rather boring.
Once again, I enjoyed the music of Two Capps and a Beveridge before the devotions.
I got caught up on Sherry's blog about riding the bus (many posts by Ken). I had lunch with Sherry on Friday at O Naturals. That was nice.
OH, I just remembered I get to get a massage at a massage school on Wednesday using some of that extra money I made working all those extra hours! Yay! Really looking forward to that....
I'm on a journey to get more fit and possibly lose a little more weight with my sisters and mom who have joined Lighten Up for Life through Mission Hospitals. I hope I haven't gained weight this weekend with all of the eating I have been doing trying to satisfy a sweet tooth that I cannot satisfy if I am not eating sugar and chocolate. I'm eating plenty of other carbs.
I still have some settling in to do from being gone for the last 6 nights, but I just had to do a little relaxing (hence the movie) after the week I've had.
Now I need to just go to bed getting ready for another work week tomorrow.
Sorry if this is boring. I don't think I will announce this post since it is rather boring.
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