I once heard the phrase "Seek to understand before seeking to be understood." I have struggled with this approach all my life. I have not had it modeled for me. But it seems to be a helpful attitude towards peace. I am sure that if our government sought to understand the motives behind the actions of people or countries who are hostile towards us (the U.S.) then we would make greater strides towards peace. The same applies to our actions and attitudes with our friends and families.
It is not about who is right and who is wrong. It is about admitting where we can improve. Not telling others where they can improve. It is about listening. About hearing.
Each of us needs to ask our selves, "how can I improve my connection with this person? How can I improve the unity, the peace of this relationship? What can I do or say that would feel loving to this person before me? If you find yourself saying instead, "What about me? Don't I deserve love? Don't I deserve respect? Don't I deserve to be listened to?" then you are on the wrong path. It is that simple. No more needs to be said.
4 comments:
Well said.
I realize ego is an issue with each of us. What I have trouble with is why is it the wrong path if one feels that they are not being respected or loved? Why is it not important to be listened to and heard as well as listening to others?
My point here I think was that one cannot do both simultaneously. One cannot hope to see another person's viewpoint while at the same time defending one's own.
It's like when I have a student who hates school, hates me, doesn't want to write nothin', hates reading,... hate hate hate. It does no good to try to convince that kid that I deserve respect, or that he needs to listen to me. I have to make a connection with the kid. And to do that, I have to show him that I care about him as a human, not just as a student. It would be easy to get offended and ask "What about me? Don't I deserve love? Don't I deserve respect? Don't I deserve to be listened to?" But I have to recognize that it's not about me. If we're going to have a relationship, I have to make it about him. I have to understand him. The fact that we're in a class together isn't enough to expect a mutual connection, just like the fact that you're related to someone isn't enough.
Sorry, first week of school, so these thoughts are bouncing around.
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