No TV--fantasy companion

Well, Sherry and Ken have done a radical thing by trying to not use their cars as much as possible. I have done a radical thing by shutting off the cable in my house (not for philosophical reasons, but for financial reasons). But you know, I like what is occurring in my home as a result. First of all, the boys and I play more games which involves interaction. But also there has been an increase in creativity from the boys (not me unfortunately because I seem to have too many duties). I gave each of the boys some money for Ayyam-i-Ha this year instead of gifts which are so hard to buy for them anymore, as they like things I don't know how to buy.

And today Chase used his money to buy a very nice ukelele. He is currently sitting at the computer going through a lesson. He is making blisters on his fingers. There is no TV at Lee's house anymore either for the same reason($$), and the boys have written a rap song that is really cool except not suitable for all audiences.

On another note, I was reading some "notes" on Facebook from three people who happen to be married and I had an aha moment. First of all, I often daydream about having a companion. A lover. A friend that I get to be with every day like most of the people I know. And I have thought to myself that if I had this fantasy companion I would definitely not be on facebook as much or maybe even blogging as much (not that I do it that often), and I would be spending my time talking to them, cuddling with them, listening to them, cooking with them, discussing ideas with them, holding their hand......

Which brings me to my aha moment. There was a question in the "Franology, Maryology, Bethology" note that asks "Have you held someone's hand today? And I noticed that not one of these married people had held the hand of their significant other that day. Of course, that could be that it was early in the day, but I realized that my fantasy is just that, a fantasy. If I remember when I am lonely that other people rarely have the relationships I imagine in my head, then it might be easier to accept my singleness. Having a companion does not guarantee that I will not be lonely (just remembering my own previous marriage helps with that), nor does it guarantee I will be happy all the time or making love whenever I want or that life would be easier. There are no guarantees in anything.

Now that I am not in a relationship I often think that people who are take it for granted, just like I did when I was in one. I sure hope that one thing I might have learned these last few years is not to take anything for granted. To notice what I have rather than what I do not, to appreciate what I have whatever it is and however meager it may seem at the time.

For now, I think I will appreciate that I have running water in my home and wash a few dishes and drink some with an ibuprofen for my headache.

Amazed once again

"My children never cease to amaze me" is a cliche phrase, yet I must use it here. Well, I guess I don't HAVE to, but I am going to. I saw Chase perform tonight at the school in a student written and directed one act play. I have seen him, as have many of you, doing the "Whose Line is it Anyway" improv stuff and so I shouldn't be surprised, oh and I have seen a few of his homemade videos where he has lines, but still, he had a serious part tonight and he was fantastic! There was a funny surprise in his performance (that wasn't a surprise to me since he let the cat out of the bag accidentally) too that I really enjoyed. I won't say too much before you get a chance to see the play (I know Luella is going tomorrow night). Speaking of Luella, Joshua did a great job, too. I know you will enjoy his performance.

So, this is one of those proud moments as a parent, seeing your child do well in something they enjoy. I hope he continues to do some of that, but I know he really has his heart in his music, so he may not pursue it that much, but I will support him if he does! I just can't get over how natural he seems at it.

But, also, almost all of the other plays tonight were enjoyable as well. Sometimes they are not, but this year they were all pretty good to excellent. Well worth the $6 ticket in my opinion. Most were somewhat to really comedic.

I did not take the video camera because I wanted to just enjoy the performance. So, I won't have it to look at for posterity. Oh well. It has to be zen I guess.

I just love all my kids so much. They are wonderful and I feel blessed to have each of them in my life.

Today was the first day of Ayyam-i-Ha and I have not done much to prepare for it. I feel like the worst parent in the world. I have not gotten one gift yet for any of my kids and still don't know what to get them. Sad I know. My erratic schedule has not helped at all. And now I need to hit the hay as they say.

OH, I hit the hay without publishing this so it is being published a day late.
I am so scattered these days. Isn't that a Rolling Stones song? :)

Let Us Live Our Lives With Kindness and Love

Let us live our lives with kindness and love, and love
Let us live our lives with kindness and love, and love
And not judge or speak ill of another and let all of the words that we speak
be rooted in love, be rooted in love, be rooted in love

This is another song from the album "Higher Ground" which I cannot say enough good about.

I am not supposed to be eating chocolate. Yet, I ate some tonight after 9pm and now I cannot go to sleep from the buzz.

So, I am listening to my favorite CD of the moment and wanting to share the songs with everyone.

I am, I am, I am enough, I am enough
I am, I am, I am enough, I am enough
I am, I am, I am whole, I am whole
I am, I am, I am whole, I am whole
We are, we are, one in God, one in God
We are, we are, one in God, one in God
God is, God is, All Glorious, All Glorious
God is, God is, All Glorious, All Glorious

I must get to bed........

album title

sorry!
Higher Ground by Margie DeRosso

You shall seek Me

Beverly, dear Beverly....Thank you sooooo much for the beautiful CD you sent to me that arrived today. I am LOVING it soooo much! I am already learning the songs and want to sing them in harmony with another Bahai in our community, Shawn, who lives in Henderson Co.

So far my favorite is the song that caused you to send me the CD in the first place:
Be Still. I love the harmony in it. But I want to post the lyrics to this other song as it is very powerful...

From O God Guide Me:
You shall seek Me and you shall find Me when you have searched for Me with all your heart and I will be found by you, yes I will be found by you when you have searched for Me with all your heart.

Oh God guide me, Oh God guide me, Show me the way to Your Truth
Oh God guide me, Oh God guide me, Show me the way to myself

You Oh God open doors, You Oh Lord open eyes...open mine

Oh God guide me, Oh God guide me, Show me the way to Your Truth
Oh God guide me, Oh God guide me, Show me the way to myself

Your love for me began before I was in my mother's womb, You know me so well

Oh God guide me, Oh God guide me, Show me the way to Your Truth
Oh God guide me, Oh God guide me, Show me the way to myself

In pain I seek your comfort, In my need I cry out Oh Lord help me

Oh God guide me, Oh God guide me, Show me the way to Your Truth
Oh God guide me, Oh God guide me, Show me the way to myself

Keep me clear, keep me strong. My Lord let me be a light in the darkness

Oh God guide me, Oh God guide me, Show me the way to Your Truth
Oh God guide me, Oh God guide me, Show me the way to myself

Praise, honor and glory to our living God, Oh Most Glorious!

Oh God guide me, Oh God guide me, Show me the way to Your Truth
Oh God guide me, Oh God guide me, Show me the way to myself

Oh God guide me, Oh God guide me, Show me the way to Your Truth
Oh God guide me, Oh God guide me, Show me the way to myself
Show me the way to myself, show me the way to myself


That song is sort of chanty and native American sounding with the drums....it is heavenly.
I am in heaven. Thank you Beverly. Thank you....You are wonderful.....

OCD

I have some OCD tendencies and that is why I can't stop thinking about things sometimes. Wanna know more about it? OK.....

# OCD is an anxiety disorder
# OCD is a neurological malfunction in the frontal part of the brain causing cells to misfire during information processing and decision-making
OCD affects 2.5-4% of the population making it the second most common mental health disorder after depression

What is happening to the person?

The essential features of OCD are recurrent obsessions (intrusive thoughts) that create an awareness of alarm or threat, e.g. "I might get AIDS from the germs on that door knob;" "Since I had the thought of killing my baby, I might be capable of doing it;" or "If I don't pick up that dirty litter someone else might get sick from it, and I would hold myself responsible;" etc.) They are more usually followed by a compulsion carried out to relieve the discomforting thought, e.g. excessive washing or repetitive rituals. Obsessions take the form of either a perceived threat of physical harm to oneself or others. Common OCD Obsessions revolve around:

* Contamination
* Harming self/others
* Losing control
* Sexual worries
* Excessive religious or moral issues
* Forbidden thoughts
* Excessive perfectionism
* A need to tell/confess
* Hypochondria
(I think I exhibit at least 4 of these)

Compulsions are carried out in response to the obsessions. They take the form of repetitive behaviours or rituals. Although they are carried out to relieve/reverse the discomfort felt by the obsession, they only relieve the discomfort in the short-term but in the longer-term exacerbate the condition. The effects of rituals and repetitive behaviour are cumulative, the more sufferers repeat the stronger the compulsion to repeat becomes. Common OCD compulsions are:

* Washing
* Ruminating (thinking obsessively)(Check)
* Repeating/checking
* Repeating words/ speech/conversation
* Touching
* Counting
* Seeking reassurance (check)
* Ordering/arranging (check)
* Hoarding (partial check)
* Praying
* Hair pulling


OCD – What it isn’t

* OCD isn’t a character flaw
* OCD isn’t a sign of personal weakness
* OCD isn’t a sign of mental instability
* OCD isn’t insanity
* OCD isn’t schizophrenia
* OCD isn’t an addiction (compulsive drinking, eating or drug-taking should not be confused
with OCD)

It’s not all bad!

On the contrary, OCD sufferers tend to be:

* Intelligent
* Articulate
* High achievers
* Creative
* Perfectionist
* Conscientious
* Sensitive

Supposedly we all have some OCD tendencies to some degree, but only when they interfere with your life (messing up relationships or work) does it cause problems.

I THINK TOO MUCH! I don't really want to. It does interfere with my life as people get exasperated (Harold told me I used big words a lot and he said that one time when I used this word) with me. I believe this is one reason I am divorced. I don't know. Well, I better get myself to bed. I have another long day tomorrow.

quote match

See if you can match the quote with its author:

“Be who you are and say what you feel because those who mind don't matter and those who matter don't mind.”

"Try not to become a man of success but rather to become a man of value."

"Great spirits have always found violent opposition from mediocre minds.

"A Woman is like a tea bag--you never know how strong she is until she gets in hot water."

"Here's all you have to know about men and women: women are crazy, men are stupid. And the main reason women are crazy is that men are stupid."

"So much has been said and sung of beautiful young girls, why don't somebody wake up to the beauty of old women?

Here are the authors. One of these people said two of the quotes.
Dr. Seuss
Harriet Beecher Stowe
George Carlin
Albert Einstein
Eleanor Roosevelt